Dear Abby: I am a widow who has been dating a widower 15 years my senior for over a year and a half. I knew ”BJ” had a lengthy relationship with another widow his age, but I assumed it was over. He gave me a royal rush, our romance blossomed and we declared our love. After a while his Saturday nights were spent with ”family.” ”Golfing trips” also took a lot of his time.
I had the shock of my life when one of my friends saw him with his old ladyfriend one Saturday night. I felt it was over between us, so when he asked me out again, I accepted in order to tell him he couldn`t have both of us, but when I did, he insisted that I was his choice.
I was wrong. He is still seeing her and lying about it. Last evening he said he couldn`t see me because he was having dinner at the club. ”The club” was her house. I let him know that I knew. He refuses to discuss it openly and maturely. Is he sowing his wild oats? At 72!
I have asked him why he got involved with me if he is still involved with her. No response.
I want him for myself. How can I get him to discuss it?
Not Enough for Him.
Dear Not: You can`t. Your signature says it all. He comes from the ”eat- my-cake-and-have-it-too” school. And one bakery isn`t enough for him.
Dear Abby: I am an attractive woman and carry my weight well. I am 5 foot 5 and weigh 148 pounds.
My boyfriend of three years has given me an ultimatum: Lose 25 pounds in 90 days or it`s over between us!
I think he`s asking too much. To me, losing the weight is secondary to the fact that he has given me an ultimatum.
How should I answer him?
Angry.
Dear Angry: Tell him you will lose more than 25 pounds in 90 days. All 148 pounds of you will get lost as far as he`s concerned. And it won`t take 90 days–you`re starting right now.
Dear Abby: To the woman in Waterloo, Ia., who is trying to decide whether to have a kid or not, here is the best test: Borrow a kid for two weeks.
I baby-sat my 10-month-old nephew for two weeks. I was 30. It was a revelation. He was really a charming little guy, but, Abby, I made up mind before the first week was over that no way would I have kids of my own!
My nephew is now 8 years old and I love him dearly, but I have never regretted my decision. He lives two hours away, and although I never see him more than every third weekend, he fulfills all my maternal instincts.
Now I always advise my wondering friends to borrow a kid for two weeks before they decide to have one of their own.
Aunt Cassie in Ottawa.
Dear Aunt Cassie: ”Borrowing” a kid is a good way to get a taste of parenthood, but it`s only a taste. When they`re your own, you can`t send them back at the end of two weeks. It`s a wise woman who knows her limitations. Motherhood is not for everyone.
Dear Abby: I am due to have a baby very soon and am confused about one thing: The baby`s father is the third to have the same name in his family. His grandfather, who is still living, is ”Senior,” his father is ”Junior” and my boyfriend is ”the Third.”
Since we are not married, can I name my baby ”the Fourth”? Or can I name him after his grandfather with no numerals after it?
Mother-to-Be.
Dear Mother-to-Be: To be absolutely certain that you would be acting within your legal rights, consult a lawyer. And regardless of the legal decision, I think you should discuss this with your boyfriend.
Dear Abby: A friend gave me these definitions of the various forms of government, and I thought you might want to share them with your readers:
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, then pours the milk down the drain.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.
What happens in a democracy?
Mrs. J. McC.
Dear Mrs. McC: In a democracy, everyone has two cows, then a vote is taken and whatever the majority decides to do, you do, and that`s no bull!
