The Bears have gunslingers, all right.
McMahon stuck that fork in his eye at age 5 when he was trying to untie a knot in his holster.
Hampton was once shot out of a tree by a BB gun-toting brother. Broke both arms and a leg, a lucky break for quarterbacks today.
William ”the Perry” Refrigerator`s tooth didn`t fall out from too much rock candy. A cousin shot it out with a pellet gun.
McMichael, a former Patriot, hunts rattlesnakes and once rattled a Boston politician in the locker room by sticking the man`s campaign button into his own bare chest.
Walter Payton is called Sweetness until he goes bow-hunting or visits the shooting range in the recreation room of his home.
Mark Bortz collects guns and studies survival technique. He is planning to take teammates to a camp to shoot dye pellets at each other in the wilderness.
”Off the field, you have a menagerie of loonies on this team,” said Payton.
Gary Fencik earned an MBA from Northwestern about the same time he gained a reputation as ”cheapest of the cheapshot artists” in the league.
Mike Singletary screams ”Samurai stuff” at offenses and was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct in Green Bay for screaming at himself after a completed pass.
”Mike Ditka has really let a lot of personalities come out of the closet this year,” said McMahon.
The better to hide himself, perhaps.
”I cut my own hair once in training camp, too,” said Ditka.
”I think the league thinks, `Oh, no, it`s the Raiders again,` ” said Fencik.
That really makes the Bears mad. Call them anything, but don`t call them Raiders.
”We are very physical and we are proud of what we accomplished. But we don`t go about it with cheap shots, or doing a lot of flagrant fouls,” said Hampton. ”We don`t want to be the new Raiders. We want to be the Monsters of the Midway, like the great teams of the glory days.
”No doubt we`ve had people looking into our late hits. We`ve had fines. We`ve had all kinds of harassment, and it seems for no other reason than we do it our way.
”We don`t have a Joe Montana-type quarterback. We don`t have the Dan Marino prototype quarterback. We have our own style of play. Just because the quarterback has a punk rock hairdo and the offensive linemen listen to Devo, it seems that people try to say, `Well, the Bears are good, but . . .` They have a condescending attitude.
”For years, it`s no secret they have tried to have a clone league where everybody had their socks pulled up so high and all the linemen were 6-5, 250 pounds. Now we`ve got the Fridge, McMahon, some real zanies.
”People are proud we`re doing well, but the league is like, `Let`s hide these guys. They`re not the image we`d like to project to the United States.` ”
The Marshall fine jolted and unified the Bears, who really didn`t need a rallying point.
”Ridiculous,” said Singletary. ”We thought it was a great hit. If I had the opportunity tomorrow, I`d do it. He can fine us until the well runs dry.”
”There are a lot worse hits put on people out of bounds and late,” said Moorehead. ”But that`s okay. It makes us stand alone. Maybe we play a little too aggressive, but that`s the way Mike Ditka has made our team, so we stand behind him.”
McMichael gets the biggest kick of all from this. He was kicked off the Patriots because he said he wasn`t allowed to be himself.
The Bears are afraid of nothing.
”Every other team tries to hide the fact they`ve got the same type of people,” said McMichael. ”If it wasn`t for pro football, half of us would be in jail.”
Real or imagined, the league`s fear of its own product doesn`t bother McMichael.
”Nobody`s ever liked me, so I don`t give a darn,” he said. ”Just so they don`t hold back the trophy.”
McCaskey points to a huge photograph in his office of Marshall with his hand wrapped around the face mask of Washington fullback John Riggins, who has an elbow in Marshall`s gut. The two men are standing up straining, wincing, fighting in opposite directions.
”That`s the elemental confrontation of football,” said McCaskey. ”It`s what excited my grandfather about it so much, and it`s what excites the Bears now.”
