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Slow and steady is winning the race for actor Jeff Daniels, who admits it has unnerved him to see his actor friends William Hurt and Christopher Reeve whiz by.

”It`s been 10 long years,” says Daniels, now on the brink of stardom himself after having strung together one film success after another: first as Debra Winger`s cheating husband in ”Terms of Endearment”; then in double roles as movie star and actor in Woody Allen`s ”The Purple Rose of Cairo”;

and now as a Yuppie stockbroker who takes a fling with an attractive, free-spirited, young woman in the exciting ”Something Wild,” opening Friday.

Does the film, in which the broker sheds his respectability for sex, have something critical to say about Yuppism? ”I hope so; let`s stop it before it kills more,” said Daniels, who lists his age as ”somewhere between 30 and 40 (more about that later).”

”All I know,” Daniels said, ”is that after the film was over I went home and threw away all of my blue shirts with white, button-down collars and all of my chino pants.”

Full-time home for the unconventional Daniels is Chelsea, Mich., a small town near the state university in Ann Arbor.

Daniels grew up in Chelsea, the son of a lumber businessman. He just made the decision to move back with his wife, Kathleen, and 2-year-old son, Ben.

”It was 10 years this September that I went to New York,” he said,

”and I never fell in love with the city or the lifestyle. It was always constant competition, a lot of defeats, one small step after another.

”So after (the success of) `Terms` and `Purple Rose` I finally had enough money to make a decision where I wanted to live. It was a choice between a 2-bedroom, $200,000 co-op–if I could find one–in a city that I hate, and a regular home in my hometown. My parents spend most of their time in South Carolina playing golf, but my brother lives right down the street.” If Daniels has found stability in a crazy profession, it has been a long, sometimes painful journey. For example, that business about his age.

”All right,” he finally said, ”I`m 31 years old. The reason that I don`t give out my age is that when I was 26 I auditioned for a role (as Diane Keaton`s lover) in `Shoot the Moon.` It was going to be my first film, my first big break.

”I read (a scene) with her. She was very nice. I remember her saying,

`You can act.` And everyone was telling me, `Jeff, relax, you`ve got the part.` Then one day she asked me how old I was. I said, `I`m 26.` Well, you could see her face drop. Needless to say, I didn`t get the part. I was told she said I was too young, that she wanted someone who was about 32. (The role eventually was played by Peter Weller, then 31.)

”So I learned the old show business lesson that you never, ever, tell anybody your age. You can`t win.”

Acting off-Broadway in New York after his college training in Michigan, Daniels made his film debut in a brief scene in Milos Forman`s ”Ragtime,”

playing the cop who breaks up a fight between James Cagney and Howard Rollins. He caught his big break in what would turn out to be one of the most acclaimed movies of this decade.

”I got the part in `Terms of Endearment` after catching the eye of

(premier New York casting agent) Juliette Taylor. She had liked me on Broadway in ”Fifth of July,” and once she gets behind you she really pushes. ”I went up for `The World According to Garp,` but came in second, I`m told, to John Lithgow. Richard Jordan and Kevin Kline also were under consideration.

”A couple of weeks after I lost the role, I was still upset, and I went to read this part (in `Terms`) for Jim Brooks. It was a scene where I was supposed to be upset, and I guess I did it well. Jim said right away that I was the only actor who acted like he might have read all the books that (my)

character would have had to have read.”

It would take nearly two years for Brooks to get the financing for his film, but Daniels waited.

Most everyone associated with ”Terms of Endearment” either won an Oscar or a nomination. Everyone that is except Jeff Daniels.

Writer-producer-director Brooks, who carted home three statuettes, said at the time that Daniels was wrongly ignored and had made the most valuable, unrecognized contribution to the movie.

”I don`t feel I was ignored,” Daniels said. ”It didn`t matter that I didn`t get a nomination. In fact, if I had, I think it would have been too much too fast.

`As it turned out I got a lot of exposure, more movies, and I didn`t get slammed by the critics. You`ve got to remember that the reality for me on that film is that I was working with three of the best in the business (Shirley MacLaine, Jack Nicholson, and Debra Winger). I was always afraid while we were making the movie that the picture might sag every time I came on screen.

”So a nomination was not on my mind; survival was–especially while the picture was being made. As you know, Shirley and Debra did have a lot of fights during the early weeks over creative issues. They`d start yelling at each other, and I`d be standing there wanting to say, `Girls, girls, this is my movie debut; please don`t shut the picture down!` Of course I wasn`t in a position to say a thing.

”Actually,” Daniels continued, ”my personal opinion is that some of the fighting was intentional on Debra`s part. She`s a very, very smart actress, and she knew that she was playing this mother-daughter thing with Shirley. I think she really calculated many of the arguments just to draw Shirley out, which, frankly, Shirley needed at the time. And look what it did for her career; she has a gold statue.”

The casting of the blandly likeable Daniels as a mild-mannered teacher was perfect in ”Terms,” because his affair with another woman came across as a genuine shock rather than as a plot device.

Similarly, in ”Something Wild,” his new film, Daniels` average-man appeal is again perfectly employed, playing a Manhattan financial vice-president accosted by a hot-to-trot young woman (Melanie Griffith).

She lures him on a cross-country thrill ride marked by violence when her ex-convict boyfriend (newcomer Ray Liotta) shows up. He and Daniels end up fighting over the woman in a brutal brawl that is out of character for Daniels` previous work.

”The fight was hard,” Daniels said. ”It also was embarrassing because I got 11 stitches in my chin on the very first shot of the fight, which took us 6 days to film, including 18 hours on the last day.

”What happened on the first day is that Ray is supposed to throw me into the cupboard, pull me up, throw me into the bookcase, and then kick me with his boot.

”Well, there I am in the very first shot, wearing a `Virginia is for Lovers` T-shirt with a fresh, sticky decal, and Ray throws me down. The decal sticks to the floor and I smack my chin. Blood is pouring out, and they take me to the hospital and put in 11 stitches. An hour later, just like a hockey player, I had to get back to the set. We couldn`t waste any time.

”Actually,” Daniels added, ”the fight wasn`t as much a stretch as you might think, because this was Ray`s first film and he was constantly pumped. He never cruised. So there was no need for me to try to manufacture energy. It was there on the set.”

That Daniels is convincing in a life-and-death battle only adds to his growing reputation as a complete actor. He was his usual laid-back self, but more slick, as a political opportunist in his previous film ”Marie,”

starring Sissy Spacek as a housewife who brings down the corrupt Tennessee prison system. Daniels, frank as usual, has his own idea why the film bombed. ”The story had been done before. It was old news, the story of one person going after the government. And the ones that were done before it, `All the President`s Men,` `Norma Rae` and `Silkwood,` all were done better.”

Daniels` low-key honesty and seemingly solid lifestyle has its roots, he says, in both his family and his training as an actor.

”It`s my upbringing, plus the teaching I received at the Circle Repertory Theater in New York. (Playwright) Lanford Wilson and (artistic director) Marshall Mason were my tutors and still are. They remind you of what the profession is all about (which explains why Daniels regularly returns to the theater, most recently in an acclaimed New York revival of Wilson`s

”Lemon Sky”).

”Lanford and Marshall always tell me exactly what they think of my work, and I remember the most important advice Landford gave me years ago. He simply said: `Make it all count.` ”

Daniels also credits ”Purple Rose” director Woody Allen for inspiration. ”After all the struggling and after the intensity of shooting

`Terms,` his style of work on `Purple Rose` reminded me that acting can be fun. I had sort of forgotten that during the tough years.

”Still,” Daniels cautioned, ”I`m just starting to figure out this business, how to conduct a career. Most of all I`d like to last. I`d love to have a 40-year-career and sit home years from now and watch myself on tape. After all, it`s the long run that counts.

”I`ve now done seven movies,” he said, ”all with the very best people, and only one was for the money. It`s the one I`ve just finished shooting,” he said, and when was the last time you heard an actor say that about a movie that is yet to be released?

”I think they`re calling it `Sullivan Street,` ” he said. ”It`s a sort of Hitchcock thriller with Kelly McGillis, set in the McCarthy era. I play an FBI agent.”

That`s good casting. With his midwestern roots, honest answers, and seemingly effortless acting style, Jeff Daniels could play a straight arrow in his sleep.

And if he maintains the quality control he`s already displayed in most of the projects he`s chosen, he just might wind up with the kind of career that allows, say, a Jimmy Stewart to stay home at night and watch himself on tape.

”I suppose his is the career I`d most like to have,” Daniels said of Stewart. ”Actually I`d settle for a third of his career. I prefer his acting style to that of a method actor, where you notice the performance more than you feel it. I identify with Stewart`s characters.

”In college, though, my inspiration was Al Pacino. I saw `Dog Day Afternoon` six times. I went over and over `til I could see the script. That was a case where an actor really crossed the line and created a completely different character than the one he did before (”Godfather II”).

”About four months ago I finally got the chance to meet Pacino. He said, `I like your work,` and I was floating.”

Daniels should continue to float when the audience and his fellow actors see him ”cross the line” and create a brand new character in ”Something Wild.” Here`s an actor who is going to wear well and last.