It`s kind of a funny story how I met Mike. I was in the library and I couldn`t find a table. He was the only one at this table for eight and he had filled the whole table with papers all lined up. They were all calculus. He really looked like he knew what he was doing. I thought I could just sit in the corner of this table. I was flunking calculus, so I thought, ”I`ll just ask this guy if he could maybe help me.” I`m usually not bold like that.
He had seen me before and claims that when he saw me, he knew he would marry me. Now, that! You know how men are. I don`t think he`s lying, but I can hardly believe that.
I asked him if he would help me, and we kind of talked a little bit. He invited me over to the dorm the next day. We sat in the stairwell by the Coke machine. He wasn`t talking about calculus at all. We didn`t ever do calculus. I flunked my test, but we became friends.
That was really important because I never, ever, ever thought about a mixed marriage. I really liked Mike and I kept thinking, `Gee, I hope I find somebody like Mike.` It didn`t dawn on me for a few years that maybe he was the one for me.
We saw each other for the rest of college. It`s hard to explain but I didn`t consider us dating. We would go for a walk almost every night. I just thought, ”Well, gosh, I can`t marry him because he`s black.” Finally, I realized, the more I thought about a husband, that Mike had every quality I wanted and I thought, ”Maybe I`m in love with him.” It was kind of scary. But we stayed together the rest of school except for two weeks when we broke up because of a lot of outside pressures.
He was trying to decide where he should go. He had already been drafted by the Bears, but he was coming back for three spring semesters to finish school. He`s real close to his mom, and his mom was pulling him one way. My parents were pulling me another way. It wasn`t a race issue on his side; on my side it was.
His mom and dad are divorced, and Mike took on the role as husband, father, big brother. He`s the youngest, and nobody wanted to let him go. He told me for three years while we were dating that I come behind his mother. We`ve talked about that since. I said, ”If you ever, ever have to go through anything like that again, don`t ever tell the girl that. It`s understood. But don`t tell her.” I`ll kill my sons if they ever say that.
On my side, my parents . . . It was not Mike. It was that he was black, and it was what they thought society was going to do to us. They`ve since found out that we`ve never, ever had a problem.
I had a few friends at school that I don`t have anymore. One I think is because the guy that she was going out with was very prejudiced. Once she started dating him, she got real cold. Another roommate I had, I think she was jealous. She had always wanted to marry a football player.
I`m still really good friends with my friends from high school. I don`t use the term ”friend” loosely.” A million people would want to be friends with us, but we consider them more as acquaintances.
One of the main things that attracted me to Mike was that he was a lot like my father. They`re both kind of big teddy bears. Mike`s a very strong person, strong-willed. And my Dad is, too. But they`re both so sensitive and so sincere and honest. I could tell him anything and he could tell me anything –and we do. He really and truly respects me.
I never have worried about Mike when he`s on the field. Mike and I rely on the Lord, and we do a lot of praying. That is the foundation for our relationship. When he gets hurt, I`m not as nervous as I think maybe I should be. I know that whatever happens to him, he`ll overcome it. Our religious feelings were a priority for both of us, and that`s another quality I was looking for in a husband. I grew up Baptist, and Mike grew up with Church of God and Christ. Since then we`ve gotten away from a ”religion.” We attend a nondenominational church here.
More and more, I don`t like to go out in public, and Mike doesn`t either, though he`s very good about fans. I`m a lot worse. I try not to be mean to them, but sometimes people just don`t think about us. If you`re out with your husband and you`re enjoying a little candlelight dinner, well, so are we. They say, ”Excuse me, I don`t mean to interrupt,” and I`m thinking, ”Then don`t.”
People say that`s just part of being a football player`s wife, but I always think if it was their husband, would they want me coming up to him saying, ”Could I give you a kiss?” They probably wouldn`t. Generally, we prefer to stay home by ourselves with the baby.
Kristen was born on Father`s Day. It was wonderful. She even arrived early. But I think I have to have one for myself. She looks like Mike, she acts like Mike and she was born on Father`s Day. She`s very good-natured. We take her everywhere with us. Restaurants, movies and Mike`s TV show.
Mike wants to have another child when Kristen is 2 years old. That means next year I`m pregnant again! We want three or four. I say, depending on what they are. I don`t want girls. I want boys. I don`t picture myself a Barbie-doll-girl mother. One girl is great, but I tell Mike if we have three girls, I`ll stop at three. Watch, some day you`ll be reading about us with eight girls!
At this point Mike`s career is my career. I`ll tell you how I know that. I signed up for a finance class this fall and I lasted until the middle of October. I finally realized that our life is not normal. I keep wanting it to be in my mind. I was auditing the class, so I didn`t have to take the test, but it just got lower and lower on my priority list. The first 10 things were Mike. If I want to spend time with him, it means I have to go to some of his speaking engagements. Some of our best time is in the limo on the way to an appearance.
I organize his fan mail for him and I`m involved with our investments and his business dealings. We`ve always talked about having a business together. Not necessarily a mom-and-pop business, but whatever we do I think I`ll always be involved. Right now we don`t know what it will be.
The one thing in my life I`ve learned is that nothing is forever. It`s really easy to get comfortable with these salaries and dealer cars and all these things you get, the attention, the endorsements. It`s hard not to expect things. Mike and I both came from humble backgrounds. I tend to want to say,
”Maybe we`d better not accept this,” but Mike, to a certain degree, tends to think, ”Hey you only live once.”
At 26, I`m one of the older Bear wives. The older ones are a little bit more old-fashioned. They want to go back to simpler things and invest their money. The younger ones tend to be more into the glitter. If someone passed by this house, they`d never know that a football player lives here. According to society`s perception, there would have to be at least one Mercedes in the driveway, and there isn`t. I think you have to earn that by being around awhile.
Luckily, we`re prepared for the end of Mike`s football career, financially and mentally. Mike has always looked forward to life after football. A lot of players don`t. Mike and I love this now, but we can hardly wait until we`ll be living the life we really want to live.
We`ll have more of a private life. Both of us will be using our minds and talents towards a business. There`s a certain excitment in determining your own destiny. We talk about it all the time.
