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You don`t want those in the know to snicker when they take a gander at your yard? Then chuck the bird bath and bug zapper and install waterfalls and perennial flowering plants.

That`s the advice of Betsy Cuthbertson of the American Society of Landscape Architects and California landscape architects Ed Hume and Bob Bombardier, who offer the following tips on what`s chic in yards now:

— Dark-colored swimming pools. Light-colored, kidney-shape pools are passe, Cuthbertson says.

— Koi, swans and ducks. For those with large yards, Hume says.

— Water features. Waterfalls and slides in pools are in, Bombardier says.

— Lightweight, upholstered patio furniture. Large redwood patio furniture is out, Hume says.

— Pink flamingos. Perhaps influenced by the TV show ”Miami Vice.”

— High-tech fences. Security fences with laser beams and electric gates are in, for those who can afford them, Hume says.

What`s out: Bug zappers, bird baths and mounds of white rock.