Dear Abby: My wife is the best friend I`ve ever had. I love her and wouldn`t hurt her for the world, but she`s a dud in bed. We would never have sex if I didn`t ask for it. She ”accommodates” me without much enthusiasm
–as though she`s doing me a favor.
I recently had an affair with a lovely woman. We had a wonderful time, doing everything a man and woman can do together, and she absolutely loved it! I finally experienced something I`ve wanted all my life–to be touched sexually by someone who knew how.
This leaves me with a difficult choice: continue having affairs with women who enjoy sex, or remain frustrated and bitter toward my wife.
I`m not interested in your opinion of me. I would like to know how I can influence my wife to become a Cleopatra so I can share these feelings with her instead of someone else.
For the sake of thousands of dissatisfied men who really love their wives and would rather stay home, please publish your answer.
Washingtonian
Dear Washingtonian: Tell your wife you love her dearly, but her lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom has left you feeling frustrated and deprived.
A mutually satisfying sexual relationship is the result of a joint effort, and professional help is available. In addition to marriage counseling, there are certified sex therapists who work in teams. Check with your local hospital or the medical college of your nearest university for referrals in your area. Forget ”affairs.” Adultery is not only immoral and illegal–these days it can be fatal.
Dear Abby: Since my grandmother`s death, family members have made me feel guilty because I asked for the return of gifts I had given her through the years. They say those things now belong to my mother, who may dispose of them as she sees fit. (My mother took care of Grandma in her declining years.)
I disagree. Many times in the last five years, my grandmother TOLD me that she wanted me to have the gifts I had given to her. Nothing was very expensive, but several things had sentimental value.
My question: Was I wrong to ask for the things I wanted returned to me? I was offered nothing of hers even after I offered to pay for certain items. In case you can`t read between the lines, I am the black sheep of the family.
Black Sheep
Dear Black Sheep: You were not ”wrong” to have asked that the gifts you had given your grandmother be returned to you because of their sentimental value. But unless your grandmother made specific provisions in writing for you to have them, your chances for getting them are small.
Dear Abby: I am 75 years old. Yesterday I went to the eye doctor for an eye examination.
For the first time in my life I had drops put in my eyes to dilate the pupils, then I had a devil of a time driving home. (I turned the wrong way on a one-way street!) No one warned me in advance that I wouldn`t be able to see well enough to drive home.
I believe that people who make an appointment with an eye doctor ought to be told on the phone if they will not be able to drive home, so they can have someone go along to drive home. I could have had a serious accident and killed myself–or somebody else. Please print this.
B.E.H. in Portland, Ore.
Dear B.E.H.: Most nurse-secretaries warn the patients when they make their appointments. And now that you were kind enough to write to tell your story, those who don`t, will. (I hope.)
For Abby`s booklet, ”What Every Teen-Ager Ought to Know,” send a check or money order for $2.50 and a long, stamped (39 cents), self-addressed envelope to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054.
