There is much discussion these days about the effect on young children of having a mother who works outside the home. Are the children neglected? Are they forced to raise themselves?
That millions of women work outside the home is a revolutionary change in American life. Studies of young children with working mothers indicate that youngsters in full-time day care are doing surprisingly well.
The problem with these studies of working mothers is that no one asks about the effect of working fathers on young children. So it is mothers who most often agonize over decisions about working outside the home. And American society, unlike most other industrialized nations, has very few supports for working parents, such as quality day care or leaves of absence.
The numbers of women in the workforce today whose mothers worked outside the home are slowly increasing–and those women increasingly are being studied. At least some report that being the child of a working mother was beneficial: It made them strong, gave them confidence, determination and a deep desire to successfully balance home and family responsibilities.
LYDIA A. WILLIAMS
Age 39, evaluation coordinator, Department of Research and Evaluation, Chicago Board of Education
”What I saw in my mother`s working was strength and determination and the message that if you want to do something, you can,” says Lydia Williams, a teacher with a doctorate in educational administration.
Williams grew up in a Chicago housing project. ”My mother, Oneida Butler, a retired school teacher, put herself through college by doing day work–cleaning people`s houses–while raising three children.
”My mother was our sole support. I admit that as a youngster, I felt day work was demeaning. My mother explained that it was a means to an end, that day work gave her the flexibility and income to raise her children and go to school.”
Her mother was criticized for wanting an education. ”Everyone told her to get a man. My mother was pushing her children to want more than that. It was drummed into me that education is the way.”
Williams earned her bachelor`s degree, married and started a family. After she was divorced, she earned two advanced degrees. ”My Mom was a living example,” she says. ”If she could do it with three little ones and the environment and all the odds against us, then I–with one son and an undergraduate degree–was one up.”
PAT WHEELLESS
Age 53, president, Wheelless Group
”I`m a third-generation working mom,” says Pat Wheelless, whose executive search firm specializes in placing direct-marketing executives.
”In Dotham, Ala., where I grew up, my mother, Willie Austin, ran the operations and business end of my father`s aviation business. She went to the office every day and learned to fly, as did I.”
Wheelless, a veteran in marketing, advertising, management and recruiting, says her mother`s work was ”counter culture, probably even for now in that part of the country. But my mother had a role model, too. Her mother, now 103, was a lawyer and the first female sheriff in Alabama.”
Wheelless` mother was ”smart enough not to have to show how smart she was. She survived in a male-dominated business.
While growing up, Wheelless says, ”I knew other kids` mothers didn`t work, but our home life was so balanced it took me 25 years to figure out that the rest of the world wasn`t like that.”
As a child, Wheelless was included in business discussions. ”I take it for granted that women should be in business and be successful. It never occurred to me to be anything else. My mother created a confidence level for me that cannot be gained from anyone else.”
SYLVIA ZAMORA BISCAGLIO
Age 35, Kleen Sweep Cleaning Service Co., River Grove
”My mom, Silvia Rodriguez, always worked,” says Sylvia Biscaglio. Her business supplies daily cleaning help. ”She worked as a secretary for a law firm when we lived in Dallas. When we moved to Chicago, she and my dad opened up a lounge. My mom gave me courage, the courage to try. She always encouraged me to open my own business.”
Kleen Sweep is two years old and has 10 employees. Biscaglio wanted to own a business because she can control her hours and get ”some relief from the pressure and tension of housework.”
Biscaglio was the oldest of four daughters. ”My mom`s working always made me want to have a business that would also be convenient for me to be with my kids. My mom used to come home tired and would ask for a few moments, just to let her breathe. Then she was with us completely.
”I feel the same way. I have four sons, 15, 8, 6 and 4, and I say the same thing.” She`s married to Rocco Biscaglio, who works for the state.
”I`ve always worked except when I was pregnant,” she says. ”My mom always told me that if you have a talent, you should use it and not be hindered in any way. Like my mom says, go for it, and if you don`t succeed the first time, try it a different way. I thank her for giving me the courage to try.”
PATRICIA B. CAREY
Age 27, registered nurse, Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke`s Medical Center
”I was about 12 when my mother started working,” Carey says. Her mother, Margaret Carey, is a clerical assistant. ”I didn`t lose out on anything, and I don`t think it`s fair to the working mothers, either, to assume their children do. Actually, it was good for all eight of us kids. We got to be a much closer family.”
Carey, who is single, says, ”Like my mom, I`d like to be able to stay at home when the kids are little, or if I do work, not so much that it interferes with the family.” That`s why she chose nursing: ”The schedules are flexible, and the pay is good.”
Though her father was ”from the old school and believes the wife does everything,” Carey sees that attitude changing to the benefit of working mothers. ”My brothers do help out, and one of them, who was laid off, is now playing Mr. Mom while his wife works full time.”
Carey, who has a bachelor`s degree, says her mother was a good role model. ”I`ve learned that you can be in the work environment and do what`s required there, and then turn around and be a wife and parent at home and help with your family.
”I learned versatility from my mother. She`s worked real hard and has done real well for herself–and us.”
Send comments and ideas for discussions to Carol Kleiman, The Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
