Age: I have two birthdays: Aug. 12 and Oct. 2.
Birthplace: The Lower East Side of Melmac.
Real name: Gordon Shumway.
Marital status: Single, but looking.
Allergies: Throw rugs.
Working on: ”Alf” on NBC-TV Monday nights.
My worst date: No one has ever had a bad time with the Alfer.
The last good movie I saw was: ”Mars Needs Women.” It`s the first really good outer space documentary.
I stay home to watch: My weight.
The book I`ve been recommending lately is: ”I`m O.K., You`re O.K.,” by Thomas A. Harris.
Favorite pigout food: Fast-food fish fillets.
Favorite childhood memory: Playing connect the dots with my uncle`s face. Personal hero: My Uncle Rob. He was the only guy who could put six flashlights in his mouth and whistle at the same time.
I wish I could stop: Chewing bubble gum. My fur gets ungroomable.
I`ve never been able to: See above the dashboard of my cars.
If I could do it over, I`d: Put the Earth where Pluto is. It`s awfully warm down there.
I`d give anything to meet: Betty or Veronica. Archie and I have the same hair.
When nobody`s looking, I: Give myself the once-over with a Dustbuster.
If I were going to the Moon, I`d take: Galactic Interstate 294.
The one thing I can`t stand in people is: They`re so uptight.
My most irrational fear: That someday I won`t be a media star.
Nobody would believe it if they saw me: Shed.
The best time of my life: Right now, right here, today, with you. Seriously.
If I couldn`t be an actor, I`d love to be a: TV weatherman, like Willard Scott.
To thine own self be: Cool.
Major accomplishment: Finding Reeboks in a size 23.
My most humbling experience: Getting stuck in an escalator at Sears.
The one thing everybody`s tried but me is: Dating Zsa Zsa Gabor.
