Fulfillment-the feeling of being satisfied, of realizing dreams in all areas of life-is an ideal that many women talk about.
It`s the other side of the coin of being Super Woman: It`s the successful attempt to do all the things we know are important to us, but without running ourselves into the ground with exhaustion, fatigue and frustration.
The world of work is often touted to women as a new opportunity for
”fulfillment.” To a majority of employed women, who work for money first and satisfaction second, fulfillment is a luxury. And not everyone finds it.
Family also is an important part of fulfillment for most women. So are volunteer activities, civic involvement, community events.
In the `60s this wonderful state was defined as ”doing your own thing,” something not everyone gets a chance to do. But in recent weeks Open for Discussion has been getting letters from women saying how happy they are, how on top of the world they feel, how they`re getting their act together and how they feel ”fulfilled.”
The secret to this happy state seems to be first knowing where you want to go-and then going there.
PATRICIA K. DAMISCH
Age 31, travel consultant, Northbrook
”I`m a professional, very career-oriented-and I had a baby in March,”
says Damisch, who earned her Masters of Business Administraton at Northwestern University and previously worked in the marketing department of United Airlines. Her husband, Mark, is an attorney.
Damisch`s contentment comes from being able to balance all aspects of her life-career, husband, child-without being Superwoman. Her feelings of fulfillment today come from her creative way of taking some bad luck and turning it into the lifestyle of her choice.
”In a six-year period, I lost two jobs, both from layoffs in a very volatile airlines industry,” she said. ”In both cases, I made disappointing situations work for me.
”After my first job loss, I went to United Airlines. I had my baby, Kristina, in March and planned to go back to work after six weeks. When I was laid off, I decided to spend some extra time enjoying the experience of motherhood.”
It was then Damisch switched from working full-time to working part-time three days a week.
She`s doing it ”all,” and she`s the one who defines what ”all” means for her.
”I`m happy because I`m leading the life I envisioned for myself. Part-time work is usually viewed as as dead end, but for me it`s a learning experience.”
ESSIE MAE ASKEW
president, Askew Distributing Co., Chicago
”I am where I`ve always wanted to be professionally and each day becomes more exciting with many more challenges,” said Askew, a beer distributor for such brands as Augsburger, Coors and Stroh beer.
Askew was the subject of a recent announcement by Jos. Huber Brewing Company. It said Askew, which it named as its first black-owned distributor, will carry the complete Huber line.
She has worked in the business since 1973. When her husband died in 1980, she took over as sole owner of the business, which employs 26. Though her husband`s death was a shock and enormous loss, Askew finds fulfllment in running her own business, making her own decisions and being in control of her life.
”One of the things I`m happy about is that I`m employing a lot of people and they are making a very good living. I also feel very good about the people I represent.”
”I`m a widow but I`m so busy and anxious to do a good job in what I`m doing, that I don`t feel lonely,” she said. ”I date. I go out. I feel fulfilled. I was married for 28 years and am not interested in getting remarried.”
Business success, an active life and new challenges add up to fulfillment for her, Askew said.
”There`s a certain peace of mind, a feeling that I have accomplished the things I set out to do. Yet, I`m not completely happy because there`s more to do.
”And that`s what keeps me alive.”
DARLENE J. LEONARD
Age 50, director of consumer services, The Medical Center of Lake County, Libertyville
”I`m the happy, totally fulfilled woman, at last,” said Leonard. As corporate liason between the hospital and businesses in Lake County, Leonard has designed and sold health programs and executive physicals for the hospital since 1980.
She started at the hospital as a volunteer fundraiser. Later she served as president of the auxillary, a member of the board of directors and finally as a paid consultant. ”I love my job. I love the hospital. I`d do anything I can for it.”
Vacations, too, are a source of joy. ”My husband, Charles, took early retirement and volunteers at the hospital. We`ve been to 17 countries in seven years.”
Her special satisfaction comes, she said, not so much from earning a paycheck but being able to share so many aspects of her life with her husband. ”My husband and I are lucky, she says. ”We enjoy our grandchildren and are friends with our children. Sometimes they travel with us. It`s another beginning.”
The couple also is active in Friendship Force, a nonpolitical international group. ”We travel and live in other people`s home in foreign countries and they come and live with us.”
”All the things I do make my life wonderful. I have nothing to complain about. Whatever I do for other people, the more I get back.”
MARGARET B. RUSSELL
Age 37, secretary, Chicago
Russell had been a secretary since 1968, but in 1986 she decided to make a career change. Since then, working toward new career goals and establishing a life plan have made her feel fulfilled.
”I quit my job,” says Russell, who has been married for 18 years to John Russell, a customer service representative. ”It was a real hard decision to make because I had a nice salary, terrific job and good benefits. But I felt restless. I couldn`t see myself doing secretarial work until I retired.” She had long been interested in social service work, particularly for senior citizens. ”My leaving one career for another entails my having to earn my bachelor`s degree first.”
She attends a junior college and will earn her associate`s degree next year. Then, she will transfer to a four-year college for a degree in social work.
Russell, who also plans to work part-time, says she is happy about her investment in the future, although she acknowledges: ”I`m also ambivalent. I know I can do the work, but I`m worried about getting a job when I finally do graduate.
”I won`t get my degree until around 1991. Will my age hold me back?
What if I can`t get a job and will still have to pay back the money for tuition?”
For many people, the pursuit of happiness is happiness. Russell is enjoying her pursuit. ”I`m working toward fulfillment, and that feels good. Succeed or fail, becoming a social workers is something I`ve wanted to do for a long time. And that makes me happy.”
Send comments and ideas for future questions to Carol Kleiman, The Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
