When Writer`s Workbench, the computer program used to improve student writing at Glenbard West High School in Glen Ellyn, analyzed a Tribune story and a Tribune editorial, it made the following comments.
On a May 31 article on the Illinois High School All-State Academic Team:
– Your average sentence length is 20.4 words. A sentence length of 18 to 26 words is the norm.
– You have no split infinitives.
– Your text contains 24 percent passive voice verbs. It should be fewer than 10 percent. Convert passive verbs to active verbs.
– Your percentage of ”to be” verbs is 43 percent, but should be no more than 25 percent. Your text would benefit from more sentence combining and from more careful selection of verbs denoting action.
– You have good variety in sentence beginnings, including 14 nouns, 8 pronouns, 9 adjectives, 10 articles, 9 prepositions and 3 conjunctions.
– The readability level of your article, based on four indicators, ranges from 12.7 (high school senior) to 14.5 (college sophomore).
On a June 1 Tribune editorial, ”The Sheriff Goes to Moscow”:
– Your average sentence length is 23.9 words, which is fine. However, one sentence is 78 words.
– Too many words are abstract, including ”thought,” ”opportunity,”
”context,” ”affect” and ”develop.” Psychological research shows concrete texts are easier to read, easier to use and easier to remember. Your text might be strengthened by adding more specific details and concrete illustrations.
– Your text contains 7 percent passive voice verbs (”Very good,” Bergin said) and 29 percent ”to be” verbs.
– The readability level ranges, in four indicators, from 12.1 (high school senior) to 13.8 (college freshman).
