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Amy Carter bristled Tuesday night when INC. inquired about her new, short, punky haircut. ”No, no . . . I`m not doing this,” she said icily. Ms. Carter apparently will speak only on topics about which she fancies herself an expert: politics and getting arrested with Abbie Hoffman. Given the hairdo, INC. should have realized that fashion clearly isn`t her forte.

– Sen. Paul Simon`s biggest problem is finding his beverage of choice-Pepsi-in a Coca-Cola town (Coke`s headquartered here). So his staffers are advancing the problem and snapping up six-packs whenever they pass a convenience store.

– Bad timing department: Just as Jesse Jackson implored the crowd to

”Dream of being drug free,” Cable News Network cut to a close-up of Geraldine Ferraro.

– Rev. Ralph Abernathy, who frequently marched with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., was among those who missed Jackson`s speech because the arena was overflowing and police closed it off.

– Press box patriotism: When the band struck up the National Anthem Tuesday night, CBS`s Dan Rather and Walter Cronkite and NBC`s Tom Brokaw and John Chancellor snapped to attention in their skyboxes. Over at ABC, Canadian Peter Jennings and the rest of the gang kept on working.

HOW UN-CONVENTIONAL . . .

All in the family: 31st Ward Ald. Ray Figueroa raised eyebrows when he showed up at the convention with his ex-wife, Aracelis. His current wife, Theresa, was an elected delegate but stayed home because she just had a baby. And, no, she won`t be upset about hubby`s traveling companion; it was her idea. Mrs. Figueroa Dos even asked party officials to let Mrs. Figueroa Uno take her place as delegate. No way, Jose, said they. Even if they wanted to be as understanding as Mrs. Figueroa Dos, the rulebook requires that the post go to alternate delegate Maria Ojeda, who never has been married to the alderman. Figueroa, with the former missus in tow, departed for Chicago in a huff when he learned they weren`t getting credentials.

POLITICAL POSTSCRIPTS . . .

What unity? Finger-pointing over the abysmal housing arrangements for the Illinois delegation continues: Peter Weinberger, the convention detail man for state party chair Vince Demuzio, blames Democratic National Committee Vice Chair (for now, anyway) Roland Burris. But all Burris did was draw Hotel Hell in a lottery. Weinberger also is seething because Burris shook hands with Chicago`s top racist, Steve Cokely, at a Tuesday reception hosted by Mayor Gene Sawyer. . . . Dem Circuit Court clerk candidate Aurelia Pucinski introduced herself to Mike Dukakis Tuesday, but the candidate knows local politics. His response: ”Oh, you`re the one who`s going to beat Ed Vrdolyak.”

CITY DITTIES . . .

– Somebody in the Department of Aviation must have been flying high when they placed a newspaper ad on Sunday, July 17, announcing a workshop on all aspects of proposal preparation for new airport concessions. The workshop was held Friday, July 15.

– To the victor go the facials: 42d Ward Ald. Burt Natarus-who wound up getting Tim Evans` Finance Committee chairmanship last week-was kind enough to arrange garbage trucks to assist in the recent Oak Street cleanup campaign. Oak Street Council Chairwoman Marilyn Miglin expressed her gratitude by providing free facials to Burt`s female staffers. Interesting trade.

INC.LINGS . . .

Interesting timing: Last week, ratings showed WNIB-FM beating rival WFMT- FM for the first time in 30 years. Wednesday, a major management shakeup was announced at WFMT. . . . ”Ravinia at Night,” an original painting by Tony Bennett, will be officially unveiled Tuesday afternoon and will become the park`s official poster, eventually to be reproduced on posters and postcards. Bennett appears there Tuesday evening. . . . Thursday birthdays:

Kaye Stevens, 53; Kay Starr, 66; Isaac Stern, 68; Don Knotts, 64; Robin Williams, 36; Yusuf Islam, 40; Edward Herrmann, 45; Al Hirschfeld, 85; WNUA-FM`s Mike Kessler, 26; Bill Peltier, 53. . . . The American Legion was surprised to read in INC. that it`s holding a convention in Chicago next month. The Veterans of Foreign Wars were even more surprised-because they`re the ones who are meeting here. That`s the group VP George Bush will be speaking to on Aug. 22.