Is it possible to have it all-or is life a series of trade-offs in which something is surrendered for each thing that is gained?
Art Williams doesn`t buy into the idea that life is all about trade-offs and that the happy, successful people are those who are able to make the trades that are right for them. That`s the way losers talk, he says, and the fact is that some people, indeed, can have it all-without giving up anything in the long run.
Williams is 46, a self-described ”good ol` country boy from Cairo, Ga.” In 1967, he was a Georgia high school football coach who earned $10,700 a year. Today, he`s a multimillionaire entrepreneur whose company, the Atlanta- based A.L. Williams & Associates, last year sold more than $81 billion in individual life insurance, more than the combined sales of industry giants Prudential and New York Life.
The company is a crusader for inexpensive term insurance, which has no cash value but which buys the policyholder the maximum amount of death protection.
Williams also is the author of a how-to-succeed book that has been a big seller: ”All You Can Do Is All You Can Do” (Oliver-Nelson, $14.95), which carries the subtitle ”But All You Can Do Is Enough!” In the book, he presents his six-point success program, which, he claims, can work for everybody.
The six points
1. Become a dreamer again. ”As a child, everyone has big dreams of what they want to become. But adults lose their ability to dream as life`s realities set in.”
2. Have a crusade. ”Find something to do that reaches beyond your personal wants and needs. Commit to something you believe in, because people who have something to fight for have an extra edge.”
3. Dream big, but keep it simple. ”A system doesn`t have to be complex to work. Keep your message to others short and easy to understand.”
4. Always be positive. ”You can do 99 percent of the things right but still fail if you don`t possess a positive, winning attitude. People won`t follow a disillusioned, frustrated crybaby.”
5. Treat people well. ”No matter what business you are in, you have to develop the art of managing people. Use praise, not criticism, to motivate.” 6. Never give up. ”Realize that failure is the halfway point on the road to success.”
Patience is required
Williams said that the problem most people make is expecting success to come too quickly. ”Most of us are not going to strike oil in the back yard. We got to struggle, and we need to make an 8-to-10-year commitment. There`s no shortcut. . . .
”For the first 18 months, you can expect everything you touch to turn to dust-or worse. Then you can expect three to five years on a roller coaster,” after which, if you`ve done enough things right and kept up your enthusiasm, you may begin to see signs that some of your efforts are bearing fruit.
The key to being successful, in what Williams considers the fullest sense of the word, is to have a family life that is as healthy as the business life. ”I see people with big business successes, but their personal lives are ruined. That`s not a winner; that`s not somebody who`s successful in my book.”
In the beginning, Williams said, you have to work long and hard. ”Many things get lost or put aside in the early years. I worked seven days a week and was on call 24 hours a day. This is when the role of the spouse becomes so important. . . . My wife covered for me, went to events that our children were involved in when I couldn`t go. . . . But two or three years down the road, I was able to adjust and spend time with them.
”If you have a decent marriage, you know when you can back off and not work so long. . . . If you think you have to sacrifice your personal life to succeed in the long run, you`re wrong. . . . Winners have balanced lives, and they have time to help humanity, too.”
Pursuing excellence
Many people at least subscribe to the idea that the wholehearted pursuit of perfection brings a person eventually to a dead end. The pursuit of excellence, however, may very well be essential.
Robert Pasnau, former president of the American Psychiatric Association, has said that physicians got into trouble and developed all sorts of bad habits not because they strove for excellence but because of ”the self-hatred that follows if we don`t achieve excellence.”
After a column quoting Pasnau was published, a physician wrote to say that she thought that many people, including doctors, confuse perfection and excellence.
”I read that column and then I went to talk with the owner of the place where I work. The first words out of his mouth were, `You always make sacrifices. No matter what you do or how you do it, you always give up something to get something else.` I agree with that. . . . If Williams is as happy and satisfied as he says he is, maybe he should take a harder look at his life and do some re-evaluating. Maybe he doesn`t know what he`s missing.” Other voices
Williams` views also have provoked discussion among readers. Here are some reactions:
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”At one time in my life, many years ago, I believed with all my heart, like Williams, that it was possible to make amends and rebuild a family life that had been decimated by my commitment to my career. I learned the hard way, as many others have, that this is an expectation that almost never bears fruit. By the time I was `ready` to be a family man, my family didn`t know me and didn`t want anything to do with me. My kids were in late adolescence, eager to break away and run their own lives, and my wife was drinking heavily to ease the pain of the loneliness she felt from losing her children and from never having had a real husband. . . . I would shout to young people that they need to understand the price they`re paying for what they`re taking and they shouldn`t take it if it costs too much.”
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”Anybody who listened to you would think that it`s impossible to have a successful career without wrecking everything else in life. I think you do a disservice to many of us who have worked hard to become successful on the job and in the home. It`s not easy, but it can be done. What is required is an understanding of the importance of a balanced life and an ability to act on that understanding. Have I made trade-offs? Sure, but I never traded off my family for my career.”
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”I had something to prove in my career-that it was possible for a bright, aggressive woman to be as successful as a bright, aggressive man. I don`t know if I proved that or not, but unquestionably I proved that my marriage couldn`t stand up to the strain of my love affair with my work.”
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”The key to making things work on the job and at home is to have a wife who is supportive and who, as Art Williams said, is willing to be both mother and father in the early years when the man is climbing the ladder. I think that most of us know when we can stop-or at least slow-the climbing and become husbands and fathers again. . . . It takes a remarkable wife to handle her end of the deal. I`ve been fortunate enough to be married to a remarkable woman. Many of my friends have not been so fortunate.”
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”What Williams said made a lot of sense to me-and fortified my belief that I`m doing the right thing by waiting to get married until I`ve got the crazy stuff in my career under control. I don`t think it`s possible to give your best to both job and marriage at the same time, so I`m going to do it separately. In about 10 years I`ll let you know how it turned out.”
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”If people had more perspective on what`s really important in the long run, none of this talk about trade-offs would be necessary. In the long run all that really matters is being with people who respect you and love you. No amount of business success or financial security can give this to you, and the sooner people realize this, the better off they`ll be-and the quicker they can start getting on the road to happiness.” –
