Spandex glittering on their flat stomachs and lean thighs, they prance aross the television screen, usually to a bouncy disco beat. Seemingly without shedding a drop of sweat, the exercise-video stars crunch their abdominals, burn their biceps and stretch their quads.
Everyone who`s anyone seems to be coming out with an exercise/self-improvem ent tape these days. Currently there are more than 300 tapes on the market featuring celebrities from sex symbol Raquel Welch to New Age headtripper Shirley MacLaine to teenybopper TV actress Alyssa Milano. Recently, even the venerable stage and screen star Angela Lansbury got into the act. No matter who they feature, most of these tapes appear to sell the same subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle message: the promise of attainable glamor.
Watch, they clamor. This famous creature pictured on the box cover will share her private exercise secrets with you. Follow her routine religiously, get to know her, and you, too, can attain her knock-`em-dead figure, peace of mind, positive attitude or whatever quality it is the tape is peddling.
Not only is that promise unrealistic, it can be dangerously misleading. While some exercise experts say a responsibly written workout tape containing scrupulous instruction and corrective tips can supplement a knowledgeable person`s existing fitness program, that same tape can spell disaster for an unfit person who bumbles through a too-difficult routine without the benefit of an instructor`s corrections.
”Tapes are probably not the best way to go when it comes to aerobic exercise,” says Nancy Patton, assistant director for the Institute for Aerobics Research`s continuing education department.
”There`s no quality control. Anyone at any fitness level can go to the grocery store and buy a tape that may be poorly put together or way too difficult for him. Trying to follow that workout is a sure prescription for injury.”
”From what I`ve seen on the market, there isn`t a single tape I`d recommend,” says Bob Gajda, a Chicago-area-based kineseotherapist, or exercise therapist, and author of ”Total Body Training.” ”You have to have someone present who really knows what they`re doing to teach you the proper way to exercise.”
Don`t bother to ask most videotape starlets about proper exercise. With the exception of a few physical-fitness devotees such as Jane Fonda, most wouldn`t have a clue, says Peg Jordan, director of communications for the Aerobic Fitness Association of America. A registered nurse and a fitness consultant, Jordan has scripted videos for the likes of Lansbury and Heather Locklear.
”Do the typical actresses featured in videos really do these exercises in their private lives? Probably not,” Jordan says. ”So many tapes imply that if you follow the workout, you, too, can have a body like the star`s.
”This creates a high degree of frustration for the poor housewife who doesn`t realize that more often than not, the body of the star she`s trying to emulate is not by LaLanne (Jack LaLanne, exercise guru of the early `60s). It`s by `la knife.` A lot of these actress types have had liposuction, breast augmentation, you name it.”
So how do these leggy impostors in leotards manage to look so competent on the television screen?
It`s simple, Jordan says. Every video has a writer and a fitness consultant who script every line, which the star reads from cue cards or a TelePrompTer, and create the exercises. A stage director tells the star how and when to move, and a choreographer teaches her the exercises and performs them along with her offstage as the camera rolls.
”Video is a cut-and-clip form of art,” Jordan adds. ”Heavy editing can produce a very attractive package. A star can do the warmup 18 times if she has to.”
That is not to say that the videos haven`t energized the fitness movement. Even the harshest critics of exercise videos admit that the good ones have helped make exercise more accessible and entertaining for people intimidated by meat-market health clubs or working out in public.
As hardline aerobics-video veterans such as Fonda mellow and develop realistic programs for an older, less-than-perfectly-fit audience and more celebrities across the board consult experts on how to effectively teach exercise, the quality of instruction in video workouts is gradually improving. In fact, New Age-style self-improvement videos, the newest trend in tapes, offer exercises so gentle they pose little threat of injury. They rely on individual stars` charisma and offer advice that supposedly helps exercise spiritual as well as physical muscles.
Other new offerings appeal to increasingly narrow audiences such as teenage girls under stress or women over 50 who haven`t been exercising much. And there`s always the latest productions by the show-business bimbo brigade that spotlight some bouncing, scantily clad would-be star with Playboy-styled camera angles.
With that in mind, here`s a quick look at some of the recently released exercise/self-improvement videos.
”Tracy Scoggins Tough Stuff Workout” (J2 Communications): Swathed in camouflage-printed Spandex with a thick black leather belt and black high-tops, Scoggins, whose biggest claim to fame was a role on ABC-TV`s ill-fated ”The Colbys,” leads four male hunks through a grueling routine that would seem more appropriate at a Marine Corps boot camp than in a mirrored aerobics studio.
Although her moves look like good old killer calisthenics-the kind high school coaches used to make the football players do if they didn`t pay attention in practice-Scoggins calls the program ”Plyometrics,” which she describes as an explosive power and speed workout developed for Soviet Union athletes.
Offering little but a big smile and superficial instruction, the actress, a triathlete in great shape, quickly runs through knee-drops, one-handed push- ups and even squats-all of which could cause serious injury if not performed correctly.
Unless you`re a real fitness freak or a professional athlete, this routine is not for you.
”Angela Lansbury`s Positive Moves: A Personal Plan for Fitness and Well- Being at Any Age” (Wood-Knapp Video): Imagine Angela Lansbury was a close chum and you stopped at her rambling, lush Brentwood, Calif., home one morning for a little tea and supportive instructions on healthy living. That`s what it feels like to watch this tape.
After viewing a barrage of impossibly thin, leotard-clad starlets featured in most exercise videos, there`s something soothing about watching a mature woman in a modest jogging suit perform gentle, fluid movements that virtually anyone could safely do. More elaborate instructions on how to perform the movements are enclosed in a written handout that comes with the tape.
Without pandering or talking down to her audience, Lansbury, a stage actress and the star of CBS-TV`s ”Murder, She Wrote,” describes how exercise can be used to start your day and demonstrates how other healthy activities, such as walking, biking, eating right and swimming, can be incorporated into everyday life.
”Alyssa Milano`s Teen Steam” (J2 Communications): Geared to preteen and teenage girls, this tape can`t decide whether it`s a steamy MTV-style dance production, a visual accompaniment to Milano`s singing debut or a mild exercise video that features languid shots of Milano`s belly button as she and two girlfriends work out on a pink carpet supposedly in her bedroom.
The tape succeeds on none of these fronts.
Milano, the appealing actress who plays Tony Danza`s teenage daughter on ABC-TV`s ”Who`s the Boss?”, seems vaguely ill-at-ease as she mugs for the camera, raising her eyebrows in an exaggerated attempt to convince viewers that she`s sincere about ”letting it all out” through exercise when stress threatens to get the best of her.
This tape is clearly more about advancing Milano`s career than it is about exercise. Clad in black Spandex bicycle shorts, a white jogging bra and red-trimmed high-tops, Milano struts her stuff as she leads her two friends through a silly rap song.
The obligatory workout is mediocre at best. In between giggles, Milano provides a little genuine instruction. The camera soon cuts to a smoky, fantasy street scene in which the three teenagers and a troupe of professional dancers perform a less-than-rousing Michael Jackson-type dance number. Finally, there`s Milano in a studio, singing the tape`s zippy disco theme song, which was scored by her father.
I was unimpressed, but the lavish production and special effects could make this one a hit with the kids.
”Jane Fonda`s Workout for Pregnancy, Birth and Recovery” and ”Jane Fonda`s Complete Workout” (Lorimar Home Video): The exercise video queen has really come into her own since her hardcore ”feel the burn” days. Now, her well-researched video workouts emphasize safe, flexible exercise programs for viewers at a variety of fitness levels.
Perhaps the most scrupulous of the video exercise stars, Fonda carefully explains how each move should feel, telling viewers how to avoid common mistakes.
Her pregnancy tape features new mothers and honest-to-goodness pregnant women who work out along with Fonda on a polished wooden floor in a bright studio. The tape emphasizes reasonably gentle conditioning and proper body alignment and provides relaxation and baby-care techniques.
Just seeing big-bellied mothers-to-be who move well and look reasonably good in leotards is immensely encouraging for those of the pregnant persuasion. While the tape is by no means easy to follow if you haven`t done aerobic exercise prior to your pregnancy, it provides a reasonable approach.
The focus of Fonda`s latest offering, ”Complete Workout,” is choice. Depending on a viewer`s fitness level, the 70-minute workout program can be split in half and done with or without light weights. The tape simultaneously combines high- and low-impact alternatives for each exercise with the actress and an assistant demonstrating.
Fonda, who claims to follow her own routines several times a week, is perhaps the best advertisement for her tapes. At 51, when even the best plastic surgeon can only do so much, she looks absolutely great.
”Shirley Maclaine`s Inner Workout” (Vestron Video): ”Please leave your anxieties and worries someplace else for the next hour or so. You are going to learn how to align yourself from within,” promises a dreamy-eyed Shirley Maclaine as she sits crosslegged on the floor, hands resting on knees with the thumbs and forefingers touching.
In an increasingly soft, breathy voice, Maclaine spends the next 70 minutes instructing viewers how to shape up their cosmic selves and seek inner tranquillity through the Hindu ”chakra system.”
Chakras, explains a very serious Maclaine, are seven spinning wheels of energy found along the base of the spine. When they are perfectly aligned,
”action and understanding become one,” and, Maclaine claims, some people may even be able to see the future.
The spacy, Oscar-winning actress proceeds to tell us how to tune up our chakras using a legless, armless life-size nude male statue. As she refers to each chakra, the corresponding spot on the statue lights up.
Most of the remainder of the tape contains soothing New Age music and lovely kaleidoscope-type graphics that fill the screen as you supposedly meditate on visualizing each chakra and releasing the emotion in your stressed-out spiritual self.
As the meditation progresses, Maclaine`s eyes close. She talks less and less, and appears to become spacier by the minute, leaving you to wonder whether she`s soaring in the cosmos or floating off to sleep.
”Shape Up With Mary Hart” (Avon Video Enterprises): Is terminal perkiness grounds for assault? Probably not, but it`s definitely a good reason to flip off your television set. Not that this newest effort by the blond hostess of ”Entertainment Tonight” is any worse than a score of other video workout tapes.
But after 45 minutes, that relentless cheerleader`s bounciness can become more grating than the most poorly designed exercise routine. Avon says it chose Hart to host its first venture into the adult video tape market because of ”her overwhelming positive public image, inspirational appeal and belief in traditional family values.”
On that front, they probably got their money`s worth. Too bad they didn`t put the same effort into producing a quality exercise tape.
In her defense, Hart does provide some good, common-sense instruction such as, ”Work at your own speed, modify when when you need to and breathe properly.” Also, her aerobics routine is of the low-impact variety, which is believed to cause fewer injuries.
But all thoughts of safety are forgotten once Hart begins blithely instructing viewers to follow along as she does moves like deep squats, a controversial exercise that has been known to cause knee damage. Then, to add insult to injury, the actress instructs viewers to hold the squat position and bounce the stress into those vulnerable joints.
Flashing a determinedly cheerful grin, Hart swings her shapely long legs through a numbingly repetitious routine, a problem that`s exaggerated by the bland disco score that seems to contain a total of no more than three chords. This one is better left on the shelf.
”Raquel: Lose 10 Lbs. in 3 Weeks” (HBO Video): The 48-year-old sex symbol appears in a purple leotard cut so high on her thighs that it covers barely more than a G-string. Appearing with her personal trainer, David White, Welch exercises in a huge, nondescript white room decorated only with an equally large stuffed white marlin on the wall.
Welch does a lot of things right, incorporating light aerobics, free weights, calisthenics (such as situps and leg lifts) and yoga stretches in two 40-minute sessions in which upper and lower body workouts are performed on alternate days.
But the aerobics segments of the tape are boring and a little weird. Rather than learning a dance routine, viewers get to watch Raquel pedaling a stationary bicycle for five minutes while in the background, three other exercisers run up and down stairs, jog and jump rope.
Raquel`s much-ballyhooed program for actually losing 10 pounds in three weeks amounts to little more than a few encouraging tips and a meal chart enclosed in the tape box, which you`re supposed to tape on your refrigerator door.
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Videotapes courtesy of Video Adventure, 1926 Central St., Evanston.
