Some things you wonder about. Other things you just know.
There are no sweeter words in sports than ”Pennant race at a glance.”
You know nature is undependable when fat looks charming on George Foreman and grotesque on William Perry.
Several hundred goals from now, Denis Savard will prove to be too sensitive for Montreal, also.
Ty Detmer is no Jason Verduzco.
Oh, sure, Cecil Fielder can hit 50 home runs with two hands on the bat.
Carlton Fisk makes a better Commander than a Pudge.
”Expansion” is the baseball word for ”Keep your hands where I can see them, and put all your money in this bag.”
Mike Ditka and Dan Hampton don`t have enough working limbs between them to enter a three-legged race.
Jerry Krause obviously gets a bigger alphabet than Larry Himes. Himes was only allowed to take the Sox from Point A to B. Krause must have the Bulls to F or G by now.
This Ken Griffey Junior and Senior thing was supposed to be Pete and Petey Rose, wasn`t it?
Vote now and Darryl Strawberry and Rickey Henderson are most valuables.
Everyone who believes that Al Davis is now in Los Angeles to stay, hold up your bill of sale for that land next to Alligator Alley.
Boston and Toronto in a pennant race is like two cats trying to cough up the same fur ball.
Religion is too personal for Lou Holtz`s flippancy. On the other hand, I can`t think of any other explanation for Notre Dame beating Michigan.
And, by the way, Barry Switzer judging Notre Dame is a little like Leona Helmsley hiding the Easter eggs.
Mt. Ditka is quiet, too quiet.
Sure, Mitch Williams could be a very good starter for any team that has an eight-inning bullpen.
Jeff George, I suppose, is getting paid by the interception.
OK, let`s just bolt the Atlantic Coast Conference football trophy into the Florida State trophy case and get it over with.
Baseball is better on radio.
Two words about the state of professional golf: Wayne Levi.
If you can imagine celery as a power tool, you can imagine Ryne Sandberg leading the National League in home runs.
Evidently, Pete Sampras, the new U.S. tennis champion and polite innocent, needs to get more exotic to be on the Davis Cup team.
Bob Boone was named to manage a baseball team that doesn`t exist. Stump Merrill must wonder what`s so unusual about that.
Free-agent collusion in baseball costs millions; in football, it costs a third-string linebacker.
I can`t figure out why, after Don King took out several full-page ads to say he loves America, America hasn`t taken out any to say it loves him back.
John Mackovic`s suit is too creased for Indianapolis. Come to think of it, so is John Mackovic`s hair.
Maybe the Sox will let Minnie Minoso bat if he promises to use only one hand.
Baseball Rule 27: Scratching always precedes spitting.
If George Brett (too old) and Willie McGee (wrong league) win batting titles, there ought to be a prize for Dale Murphy.
Rick Sutcliffe`s fastball ain`t.
Third-quarter scores haven`t been the same without Brent Musburger.
Hot Rod Williams, the richest cipher in basketball, will get a bonus if he leaves Cleveland for Seattle and, I understand, some more money, too.
Again, what`s the name of that one new player who will put the Bulls over the top this year?
