Have you heard the one about the porn star who took off his chaps in front of a couple of hundred people and a bunch of TV cameras?
Or the one about the bevy of beauties who went running through the subway showing off their tattered clothing?
Maybe the one about the two women wearing 6-foot-wide golden chandeliers who got their filigrees entwined, forcing them to become gilt Siamese twins?
These aren`t risque stories we`re talking about. Here in Paris, this is the stuff of fashion shows-sometimes goofy, sometimes inventive, occasionally memorable productions that aim to entertain as well as to show the merch. Sometimes, however, these productions are so entertaining, nobody remembers-or even sees-the clothes. And then there are times the designers get so carried away with their own creativity, their shows backfire.
Take one night last week, for example, when the avant-garde and now frequently copied designer Martin Margiela invited tons of retailers and press-here to preview next spring`s ready-to-wear fashions-to the showing of his newest collection at 20 Boulevard Saint-Martin.
Since Margiela`s events are always the hot ticket, a goodly number of the 2,700 retailers, journalists and photographers registered with the Chambre Syndicale (the official designer`s organization) trudged out to the Saint-Martin address, hoping to see the unveiling of yet another mind-boggling deconstructivist collection.
Just one little hitch.
The Saint-Martin address was a subway stop.
While assorted groupies and other devotees who`d arrived terribly early were underground enjoying what little they could see of Margiela`s creations, hundreds of others spilled out into the traffic-clogged intersection above. Among them, the International Herald Tribune`s fashion writer, Suzy Menkes, New York`s noted photojournalist Bill Cunningham and many, many unhappy photographers. Well, it was just the equivalent of opening ”Miss Saigon” and shutting out the critics, wasn`t it? Mon Dieu! what confusion.
Blake owners Marilyn Blaszka and Dominic Marcheschi suddenly became celebrities when they finally emerged from the site of the lowly runway,in an area adjacent to the tracks.
But, to those seeking a morsel of information, Blaszka said, ”The models ran by so fast, we couldn`t even see what they were wearing! It was over in a snap.”
The next day, Menkes said far less than that.
Hi-yo, Mugler!
Then there was the Thierry Mugler show on the very same night. Always an extravaganza of sorts, Mugler`s shows attract not only the top echelon retailers (Saks Fifth Avenue`s Philip Miller was among those with front-row seats) who do very well with this designer`s great jackets and form-fitting clothes, but all of the press and anybody who can wrangle or steal press invitations-plus half the nightclub set from Paris, New York and Los Angeles. Held a good distance from the tents of the Louvre where most designers`
shows take place, Mugler`s show was held in a rickety building not far from the Arc de Triumph.
But, the crowd got what it came for-and more. Ivana Trump made her surprise Paris modeling debut. By her third spin down the runway, she was having a jolly good time revealing the results of much of her plastic surgery, wearing a long taupe satin strapless gown with the bottom designed to resemble a cowboy hat.
Then there was Lady Miss Kier and Dimitri from Deee-Lite, drag queen Lypsinka showing how fishnet hose should be worn and porn movie star Jeff Stryker, who performed by unzipping his brown leather vest, his brown leather chaps-and that`s all.
Mugler showed Western stuff galore: skin-tight, pony-patterned vinyl tights; a skirt made of looped lassoes; a short skirt that was a replica of a cowboy hat-though much larger-in gold sequins; plus lots of prairie dresses that would never be allowed in a John Wayne movie.
He also showed lots and lots of peplumed jackets, which retailers will probably sell with tight short skirts-though they appeared on the runway, unlike blue feathered chaps that did.
The golden chandelier-styled skirts?
They were in Mugler`s show, too, part of the silly, sexy finale of a show that by then had strayed from West to seashells to-chandeliers. Two models, wearing little more than the chandeliers and miniscule bodysuits got entangled and never the twain could anyone part.
Focusing on fashions
Karl Lagerfeld doesn`t resort to such tactics when he shows the collection he designs under his own name. Last Friday, he used the same formula that`s been his favorite for a long time: He just kept sending out what seemed like hundreds of models, racing down that long runway, to a blaring disco-type beat, hammering home his fashion messages.
For spring that means: sheer, really transparent, long skirts worn over very, very short skirts; sheer skirts attached to jackets, actually forming a dress but giving the appearance of a tailored jacket over a long pleated skirt; sheer or shiny lace midriff inserts; sheer backs; sheer sleeves.
Though sheer longs appeared to be so dominant, Lagerfeld actually showed quite a few short things: suits with short tight skirts; dresses with very full, very short skirts worn over petticoats.
Also on Lagerfeld`s runway: the new twin-set (a jacket worn over what appears to be another nearly identical jacket but is actually a vest; men`s white shirts with black ties, the shirts in every length with flapping tails; pretty, pretty pastels (pale pink, blue, icey lemon), hot coral and pink and black galore.
Lagerfeld, who usually comes down the runway at the end of his shows looking almost preppy in a checked sportcoat, made his main spring `92 message clear when he took his bow, wearing all black, topped by a very long black coat and fanning himself with a pleated sheer black fan.
Bad boy/good boy
Jean-Paul Gaultier`s show-which he surely put on primarily for friends and only incidentally for retailers and press-was a schizophrenic affair that started out with the lyrics from ”My Fair Lady” and jackets with bustles, then closed with the music from the Looney Tunes. You get the idea.
In between, there was a drag queen with a hairy chest, somebody doing cartwheels, some male models with feather-duster hats, former Vogue fashion editor (now with Allure) Polly Mellen modeling a black leather jacket, and showing she could use one of Gaultier`s famous girdle dresses, several of his customers and quite a few dogs-some of them animals.
Though Gaultier still overuses the underwear/bra/girdle theme that first brought him fame, he has several new ideas: one is a jacket that adheres to a woman`s body, even though the two sides of the jacket don`t meet in the front (probably the miracle of boning); another is a very unusual skirt with a front that looks like a pair of panties though the sides and back are really a skirt that extends into a long train; the funniest are trompe l`oeil jackets with serious double-breasted fronts but backs that look as though they`re revealing the rear view of a bra, the derriere and a garter belt holding up fishnet hose.
Gaultier had his very own enormous tent built for this one show, and the rumor was rampant that JP`s pal Madonna would make her Paris fashion runway debut.
Well, not only no Madonna but no major celebrities. But, there was a bra that might be just the thing for Madonna`s next world tour: two major cones with blinking lights.
