Beyond the bars, health clubs and dating services, many singles in the suburbs are looking to an even higher power to fulfill their need for friends, companions and to possibly even find them a mate: God, the master matchmaker. Indeed, being single can be a lonely journey through the singles scene-a crowded jungle of booze, false bravado and broken promises. That is why an increasing number of the singles in the suburbs are turning to the churches in their own back yard, where they say they are finding support, shared beliefs, friends and lots of fun.
The Phoenix Group, a non-denominational organization for separated, divorced and widowed singles sponsored by Holy Family Church in Inverness, reflects this fast-growing and widely popular trend sweeping the suburbs. The group, which meets at least once a week and offers a wide range of support services and activities, draws its 350 members from throughout the northwest suburbs and Lake County.
Says Tony Zimmer, co-director of the Holy Family singles group he helped found in 1989 after his own divorce: ”Like most people who`ve been married 22 years, I hadn`t stepped foot in a bar and didn`t have any desire to do so. It`s very scary when you are suddenly out there on your own.
”A lot of people look at all their alternatives and think, `Oh, I don`t want to join a church group. That`s too depressing, because they are just going to focus on the `Oh my God, why did this happen to me.` But we don`t do that. We take the whole thing to another level, offering emotional support for our members,” adds Zimmer.
In addition to the group`s Thursday evening meetings, in which speakers are brought in to cover a variety of support, self-improvement and
motivational topics, before moving on to drinks and dancing at a nearby restaurant, the Phoenix sponsors a host of fun activities. Last fall members spent a week soaking up the sun in Aruba. This spring they`re off to Cancun, Mexico. And there are parties, ski trips, tennis weekends, two or three activities each week. The median age: 40s and 50s.
”We have a great time,” says Zimmer.
