The adage ”Don`t get mad, get even” is not necessarily the best advice for workers who are facing increased corporate pressure to do more with less. Anger can have its place in the office if you use it sparingly and effectively.
A good old-fashioned temper tantrum can send the message to others in the office that you aren`t willing to be pushed around, says author Owen Edwards. There are even bosses out there who have a begrudging respect for people who throw well-timed tantrums, according to Edwards, author of ”Upward Nobility: How to Succeed in Business Without Losing your Soul” (Crown, $20).
Don`t go rushing off to work to toss around a few file cabinets, however. ”There`s a big difference between a tantrum with a great dramatic effect and constant whining,” says Edwards, who is also a job-advice columnist for Gentlemen`s Quarterly magazine. If you are somebody the bosses have identified as a chronic complainer, Edwards says a tantrum may provide the excuse they need to fire you.
”Think about how valued you are,” says Edwards. ”If you are the key to a smooth-running operation and you feel you are being badly treated, then a tantrum won`t get you fired and it may serve to redress your grievance.”
Looking at the situation through the boss` eyes may help you decide whether to let your anger out. ”Put the shoe on the other foot. Think about how you would react if somebody who was important to the mix got angry,” he says.
People who constantly behave in an angry fashion risk becoming an office joke, Edwards says.
”A tantrum can`t be an everyday affair,” Edwards says. ”You have to use it when there is something really legitimate that should make you angry. The unfortunate thing is that we often blow up over something small when in fact we are furious about something quite big.”
An occasional display of temper by someone who is ”usually of good nature
and good cheer,” says Edwards, can cause others to tread lightly and watch how they treat you. As an example, Edwards recounts the story of a magazine editor he worked for who was not prone to displaying her temper. She became quite angry about a tape machine that didn`t work and began throwing things in her office.
”My reaction was `I don`t ever want to be that tape machine,` ” says Edwards, adding that if you do throw a tantrum, ”it`s important to be dramatic. If you get mad, tighten your lips, turn on your heels and stalk out of the office, people will ignore you.”
Edwards says anger that isn`t dealt with can lead to tension in the workplace. ”It`s more destructive than the outburst because people get tense, they don`t talk to others, they are abrupt and there is an edge in their voice. A tantrum clears the air.”
Unfortunately, there`s no way to rehearse an effective tantrum. There are, however, certain rules of etiquette to proper tantrum throwing, particularly if your target is the boss, says Edwards.
”When blowing up at a superior, certain things must not be said,” he says. ”Things like `Why, I could do your job twice as well as you any day.”` Another tantrum tip: Don`t push the boss` back against the wall by saying such things as, ”If you don`t think I`m the person for this job, you`d better tell me right now.”
”If you`re throwing a tantrum upward, be sure it`s message is that you`re not there to be whimsically pushed around, never that you`re ready for a showdown-unless things have come to the point where you`re also ready to lose the job.”
Among Edwards` other tips for handling anger at work:
– Timing is everything. ”It`s a disastrous idea to fire off a tantrum at your boss after a week or two on the job. He or she has no particular investment in you at that point, and might feel well advised to get rid of you without delay.”
– Never get angry at your boss in public. ”Loss of face is much less acceptable to most bosses than the loss of an employee, however vaulable.”
– Count to 10. If you feel an uncontrollable rage coming on, it`s often best to find a quiet spot and evaluate whether expressing your anger is appropriate.
– Remember, ”a tantrum is at it`s best when it never has to be thrown, but simply maintains a high level of respect by its ready availability,” says Edwards. In other words, let them know you have a temper, but don`t be quick to use it.
LIFELINES
Physical therapists
The Illinois Physical Therapy Association is open to licensed physical therapists and physical therapist assistants. Annual dues ($315) include subscriptions to publications with job listings. For details: 312-271-5735.
Success club
The Chicago Success Club, a networking group for people who want to improve their chances for personal and professional success, meets monthly and offers seminars. Initiation fee: $150; annual dues: $35. 312-868-6150.
Women in Charge
Women in Charge, a non-profit group for present and future workers in the not- for-profit sector, offers conferences and educational forums. Programs vary in cost; mailings are free. Call Gail Brown, 312-435-3925.
Tax tips
Uptown Center Hull House presents a free seminar, ”Tax Tips for Small Businesses,” 7 to 9 p.m. March 5 at 4520 N. Beacon St. For reservations, call Uptown Center Hull House, 312-561-3500.
Worker`s bookshelf
”The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution,” by Dudley Weeks (Jeremy P. Tarcher, $20.95); ”Not Just Another Job,” by Tom Jackson (Times Books, $12).
