Occupation: Comic.
Birthday: May 26, 1962.
Birthplace: Syracuse, N.Y.
Current home: Los Angeles.
Marital status: Married for 5 years to Ann Luly.
Children: A daughter, 5, and a son, 9.
Car: An orange 1965 Ford Falcon.
Working on: ”Shakes the Clown,” a movie I wrote, directed and star in. It`s one of the finest alcoholic-clown movies ever made, although I don`t think the genre has been exploited much. It`s out now.
I stay home to watch: Commercials.
The book I`ve been reading is: ”Hitmen,” by Fredric Dannen, about the record industry.
Favorite pigout food: Any kind of meatless pizza. I`m a vegetarian.
Favorite performer: Andy Kaufman. He was himself and still able to have a career.
Favorite childhood memory: Sitting on the radiator in my underwear.
Every New Year`s I resolve: To gain more weight. My goal is explosion.
I`ve never been able to: Get into most restaurants. I`m a bit of a dirt bag.
The worst part of my job is: Deli trays. They`re always backstage. I think they`re trying to kill me.
I want to teach my child: That you are what you hate.
My fantasy is: There`s a planet beyond the moon, and I`m the king of it.
The worst advice my mother ever gave me was: She said to do the movie
”Hot to Trot.” It was a huge bomb.
The one thing I can`t stand is: Bile.
I knew I was a grownup when I: Bought a hibachi.
My most irrational belief: That Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
Nobody would believe it if they saw me: Rearrange my DNA structure.
My friends like me because: I`m shiny.
Behind my back, they say: ”Boy, he`s got a lot of hair on his back.”
If I couldn`t be a comic, I`d be a: Welder.
Words that best describe me: Nutty bunch o` fun.
The one-word title of my autobiography: ”Help!”
