Open the magazine expecting the worst and you won`t be disappointed.
The magazine is Your Prom, a once-a-year-prom extravaganza from the publishers of Modern Bride. The $2.95 mag has an admirable goal: to decrease the angst factor as young men and women prepare for their first full-contact formal event.
The prom-going stakes are high.
Turn first to page 13, the ”Final Countdown” to your June prom. If you didn`t have a prom committee that got organized a year ago, forget about it. You won`t be having a prom. You can`t play the game. Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO.
If you are a girl, you should have started browsing through fashion mags, dieting and conditioning your hair back in January. If this didn`t happen, prepare to go to the prom with split ends, an extra 10 pounds and an unflattering dress. On second thought, forget about it. Stay home.
If you`re a guy, you`re in luck. You don`t have to start socking away funds for the big event until next month. And according to this third issue of Your Prom, you-Mr. Big Man on Campus-will be footing the bill. So much for trickle-down, equal-opportunity debt. If you don`t have a healthy bank account, you`ll need a part-time job-times are tough, think McDonald`s-or parents willing to dole out the cash.
Who needs big bucks
Thinking that your burden is greater than your date`s? Hold up. You`ll merely be renting a tux (late April) and buying prom tickets (May). Your date, who will most likely be selected by you at the same time that you buy your prom tickets, will be dishing out the big bucks for the prom gown.
Flipping through the assortment of advertisements in Your Prom, you`ll find the latest in prom dressing. Think ruffles and lace and sequins and cleavage. Think big hair and high heels. Think Miss America. Think Joan Collins as Miss America.
Time out for a reality check. A brief chitchat with Southfield (Mich.)
High School`s Peggy Harrell, who co-sponsors the senior class, reveals that her seniors will undoubtedly have a fabulous prom because they`ve been planning for all of this since their junior year. They`ve got the place, the class colors and the prom theme-”Remember the Time.”
While many things change, proms stay mostly the same. Class president Eboni White, 17, says guys still ask a girl-the same girl. And the girl doesn`t know which guy she likes best or, more to the point, which one she`ll like when the prom rolls around.
This is important stuff because girls have spent close to $500 on prom dresses. They don`t want some Virgil Eugene Poindexter III sweating into their palms and knocking off their sequins. And of course, they`ll be wearing sequins.
An insufficient supply of sequined dresses in Your Prom explains why White thought the magazine was just OK. All of those ruffles and lace didn`t go over too well and neither did ”that Southern belle” stuff. This is a prom, people, not a debutante ball. Forget about Cornelia Guest. White, who figured out that she`d be wanting a pretty smashing prom dress back when she was a sophomore, is on the prowl for an extra-special short party dress.
Listen up, class
This, of course, returns the discussion to the dresses, the ads, the magazine and the lessons that they all teach.
1. Most prom dresses are bridesmaid dresses only vaguely disguised. Think about it. Taffeta. Lace. Obnoxious and unflattering shades of blue and pink.
2. Like bridesmaid dresses, prom dresses can never be worn again to anything but a prom. They always bear the markings of prom. The only way to opt out of this environmental disaster is to buy a party dress. Subtle distinction, but like good taste, you`ll know it when you see it.
3. Prom dress models always look older and more sophisticated than folks who actually go to the prom. The reason being, they`re usually 23-year-olds.
4. Shoes should never be dyed to match: A. They never match. B. Who wants sky blue peau de soie pumps anyway?
