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First things first: Umpires don`t swing the bats, don`t make the catches and don`t throw the pitches.

But umpires influence the way players play. Take the case of the Cubs`

loss to the Montreal Expos last Wednesday in Montreal.

Veteran umpire Bruce Froemming was behind the plate.

By all accounts, Froemming is one of the best umpires in baseball. He was the youngest professional umpire in the United States when he started at age 18. He has been in the big leagues full-time for 22 seasons. And he has been on the Board of Directors of the Major League Umpires` Association since 1972. They don`t come much better than Froemming.

But everybody has bad nights. And it sure seemed as if Froemming had one last Wednesday.

It started in the fourth inning when catcher Joe Girardi thought Froemming missed a call. Girardi thought Montreal catcher Gary Carter dropped a fouled third strike, which, of course, would have given Girardi another chance.

Girardi registered his disagreement and stood there while Froemming asked Expos pitcher Brian Barnes to return the ball. Froemming wanted to see if there was a dirt mark on the ball, which would indicate it had hit the ground. He found the ball clean, returned it to Barnes and was headed back to his place of work behind the plate when Cubs manager Jim Lefebvre came out of the dugout and asked Froemming to check with first-base umpire Jeffrey Kellogg. Maybe the reason the ball didn`t have a mark on it was because it hit the plate instead of the dirt. And maybe Kellogg saw it drop.

Froemming took umbrage at Lefebvre`s lack of confidence in him, and one thing led to another. Conversation gave way to consternation, and by the time family ancestries were invoked, Lefebvre was thrown out of the game.

That should have been that. And, technically speaking, it was. But a case could be made that from that point on, Froemming called a different game-giving Montreal pitchers a bit more of the plate and Cubs little less benefit of the doubt.

Certainly some of the Cubs thought that.

All of which could be dismissed as nothing more than the age-old lament of losers. Except it begs a question:

Why doesn`t someone, somewhere keep a detailed chart on umpires?

The National League has a Director of Umpire Supervision and a pair of umpire supervisors who travel around the country checking up on umpires. And each year, every team sends in a confidential evaluation of all the umpires.

But all of that is top secret. And all of it has little noticeable impact. Major-league umpires rarely lose their jobs.

But even the best umpire has a bad day. And there ought to be a way to keep track of it.

This isn`t the answer, but it could be a start: take a look at the won-loss records of teams broken down by umpiring crew.

The loss in Montreal last week dropped the Cubs to 1-2 in games in which Froemming has been behind the plate this season.

In all, 31 different umpires have been behind the plate for the first 108 Cubs games this season. The Cubs are winless with five of those umpires behind the plate. On the other hand, the Cubs are unbeaten in games that three other umpires have worked.

The Cubs have the worst record in games worked by Jim Quick. They are 0-5, including a pair of defeats at home.

Other umpires who have yet to work a game the Cubs won this season are:

Ed Montague (0-3), Bob Davidson (0-3), Harry Wendlestedt (0-3) and Mark Hirschbeck (0-1).

Combined, the Cubs are 0-15 in games with those five umpires behind the plate.

Montague and Wendlestedt each have been the home plate umpires twice when opposing teams threw shutouts against the Cubs. Davidson, who is scheduled to work the plate in Sunday`s finale of the Cubs-Mets series, was in charge on July 18 in Pittsburgh when the Pirates shut out the Cubs 4-0.

Those three umpires-Montague, Wendlestedt and Davidson-have called balls and strikes for more than one-third of the (14) shutout games thrown against the Cubs this season.

Given the fact baseball analysts record everything from home-field advantage to first-pitch tendencies, from rainy day performances to failed sacrifices, maybe they ought to at least keep track of umpires.

Here are a few more unscientific stats on umpires and the Cubs:

– The Cubs are 2-4 in games with Terry Tata behind the plate, and two of the four losses have been shutouts.

– When Bill Hohn, Charlie Reliford, Gerry Davis and Jerry Crawford work the plate, the Cubs are a combined 14-1: Hohn and Reliford (both 4-0), Crawford

(4-1) and Davis (2-0).

– The Cubs are 2-5 with Tom Hallion behind the plate this season. Both of the victories came at Wrigley Field, and one of the two was a shutout. The Cubs are 0-4 in road games this year with Hallion behind the plate.

– The Cubs are 3-1 in games worked by Dutch Rennert this year. All three wins have come in road games. The lone loss was at Wrigley.

– Joe West, the umpire who once drove Andre Dawson into a fit of rage, has worked five Cubs games this year. The Cubs are 2-3. Dawson is 2 for 13 (.154) with four strikeouts.

Around the league: Dick Balderson, the just-fired head of scouting and player development for the Cubs, has gone to the Colorado Rockies. . . . The National League expansion draft is set for Nov. 17 in New York. The Rockies and Florida Marlins will choose a total of 72 players that day. . . . The Mets are last in the league, by far, in triples this year. Coming into this weekend, they had only six. The next-lowest team total was 20 by the Phillies. Ryne Sandberg alone has more triples (seven) than all the Mets combined. . . . And, finally, it has been too long since we had some words of wisdom for the guru of modern-day baseball, Andy Van Slyke of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Told recently that teammate Doug Drabek has a career 54-26 record after the All-Star break and only 28-30 before, Van Slyke had a simple remedy: ”Maybe we should put a fake calendar in his locker at the beginning of the season and make him think it`s June.”