Though I am a daughter and not a son, I was deeply touched by Ralph Keyes` article ”Father Figure” (June 21). I could easily relate to the evolution of his relationship with his father because when I was growing up, my father, too, always seemed to be the outsider, the quiet man with whom I had nothing in common.
My mother stayed home to raise me and my sisters and brother, so I grew closer to her over the years. It wasn`t until I was in college that I began to see my father through my own adult eyes and to see him as the person he really was.
I discovered a wonderful, fascinating man with whom I share a sense of humor and a keen curiosity about life.
I found not only a father but a friend. The crime is that it took me so long to see what was always there. The victory is that I came to know my father before it was too late.
MEGAN FELLMAN, Chicago
I always enjoy reading Bill Granger, and his article about his father
(Chicago Voices, June 21) was especially enlightening. His father sounded like a great man, except for one gigantic flaw: How could a South Sider ever think of sending his son to Wrigley Field to see the Cubs?
When I was growing up on the South Side, it was a mortal sin to be anything but a White Sox fan, and never would a South Sider go north of Madison Street to attend a ball game.
RAY ZADENETZ, Chicago
GOING PUBLIC In ”Private Practices, Public Confessions” (June 14), author Wendy Kaminer admits to having ”no personal experience with an addiction or abuse.”
What goals did she hope to achieve by invading people`s privacy at the various recovery meetings she attended? Was she gathering data for a new book she hoped would cure these mental invalids of their so-called recovery addiction?
Kaminer asks, ”What are they all recovering from?” Our society is moving out of the era of family secrecy, into an age of honestly assessing what happened in the past. I agree that there are ”victims” who stay stuck in this step. They whine and wallow in self-pity on TV and at meetings.
However, Kaminer fails to focus on the survivors who put their own egocentric wills aside and co-create solutions with their Higher Power (as they know Him) and go on to share with others who seek help. These survivors have overcome physical, sexual and emotional abuse by implementing a spiritual-not religious-program.
Each person`s method of healing will be different. What works for some might not work for others.
I agree with Kaminer`s point that TV talk shows are overdramatized. So why spend time watching them? I encourage people to take off their masks
(choosing safe people to do this with) and reveal who they really are and what they think and feel.
Listen and learn from one another and surround yourself with winners: not the victims Kaminer speaks of but the survivors.
LORNA SHARON ELLIOTT, Vancouver, Wash.
As a member of the American Counseling Association and a nationally certified counselor, I turned to ”Private Practices, Public Confessions”
with interest.
However, Wendy Kaminer destroyed her credibility when she ridiculed the Texas accent of her opponent in a debate on the ”Oprah” show. The Magazine supported Ms. Kaminer when it reprinted her phonetic spellings of the Texan`s responses.
I am tired of witnessing evidence of the assumption that anyone with a Southern or Texas accent is less rational and less intelligent than Northerners.
GLENA E. MCDONALD, River Forest
