Your suggestion that the Republicans dump Dan Quayle is most welcome, as it fits in perfectly with my own plans. I am laying groundwork for being the next vice president of the United States.
If adding an unnecessary ”e” when spelling ”potato” is disqualifying, then I am superbly qualified. I am America`s second-best speller. I can even spell the word for that little Hawaiian four-string guitar.
Further, I could never be as patient with the backbiters of the media as Dan Quayle has been. I am blessed with a very short fuse, and I would bite them right back.
The demands of the job seem tailored more to my old and chubby physique than to Dan`s young and lithe one. I like the idea of sedentary work and flexible hours. And the pay would be adequate compensation for having to put up with the low class of people one meets in the Senate. As for my
conservative credentials, they are impeccable; I even part my hair on the right.
There should be no doubt in anyone`s mind: I`m the man for the job.
