Dear Ann Landers: You are supposed to be a smart cookie. Can you figure this out? I bet my wife $10 you`d flunk just as we did.
The parent of a Houston high school pupil received a message from the school principal concerning a special meeting on a proposed educational program.
The message read: ”Our school`s cross-graded, multiethnic, individualized learning program is designed to enhance the concept of an open- ended learning program with emphasis on a continuum of multiethnic, academically enriched learning, using the identified intellectually gifted child as the agent or director of his own learning. Major emphasis is on cross-graded, multiethnic learning with the main objective being to learn respect for the uniqueness of a person.”
The parent responded: ”Dear Principal: I have a college degree, speak two foreign languages and know four Indian dialects. I`ve attended a number of county fairs and three goat ropings, but I haven`t the faintest idea as to what the hell you are talking about.” OK, Ann, do you know what the principal was trying to say?
Two Dummies in Ft. Worth
Dear Friends: I don`t think you are dummies. That principal needs to learn how to express himself in simple terms.
What he means is: ”We are planning a program for students of all races, which we hope will encourage the brighter ones to move ahead at their own speed. Grading will be geared to the learning level of the student. In this way we hope to teach and grade each student according to his ability to learn.” P.S. Pay your wife the $10. Or, better yet, send it to your favorite charity.
It all depends on who`s calling
Dear Ann Landers: Amid your pile of kooky letters, this isn`t going to sound like much, but it`s a complaint I`ve heard from other secretaries so it isn`t just myself I am writing for.
I work for a firm of busy lawyers. One of my responsibilities is to handle the phones. When I tell Mr. Hossenfeffer that Mr. A is talking on another line, you wouldn`t believe how many times I`m asked, ”Can you tell me how long he will talk?” Most of the people who call here are not yokels, Ann. They are business executives and other attorneys. Sometimes I get so irritated I want to scream, ”How in the world do I know?” Can you suggest a dignified response to this absolutely crazy question?
Ernestine
Dear Ern: A competent secretary can usually gauge the importance of the caller (to her boss) compared with the person he`s talking to. If the caller is more important, she could say, ”I`ll slip Mr. X a note telling him you are on the line, and he will either conclude his call or get back to you shortly.” She can then let her boss decide what he wants to do.
If it`s a run-of-the-mill call, the secretary should say, ”I really don`t know. Please leave your number and I`ll ask Mr. X to return your call.” Confidential to He Promises to Change, But Will He?: Don`t bet the rent. There is no evidence that a wedding band will serve as a tourniquet to stop a man`s circulation. If he`s running around during courtship, he`ll probably continue to run after marriage.
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Do you have questions about sex, but no one to talk to? Ann Landers`
booklet ”Sex and the Teen-Ager” is frank and to the point. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.65 (this includes postage and handling) to: Teens, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.45.)
