Like any parent who raises a baby to maturity, Linda Ashby is proud. The baby has just turned 20 years old.
This year, Ashby and hundreds of other suburban mothers are celebrating the coming of age of PACES (Parent and Child Education Society).
A non-profit, all-volunteer organization, PACES` mission is to provide education, support and friendship to families with young children.
Ashby, whose children are now 17 and 20 years old, is a charter member of PACES and has seen the organization grow from a handful of families to nearly 900 members.
Although Ashby holds the title of longest-standing PACES member, she credits former childbirth educator Kathy Bucholz Allen of Woodridge with being the driving force that initially got the organization on its feet.
PACES` first steps in 1972 were as a childbirth education group.
”It`s hard to believe,” said Allen, ”but as late as 1970, dads were not allowed in the delivery room in Illinois.”
After a few hospitals began allowing fathers to participate in childbirth, a paucity of childbirth instructors prompted Allen and a group of parents and nurses to develop a curriculum for prepared childbirth. When the agenda had been approved by International Childbirth Education Association, PACES, at the time using the name West Suburban Lamaze Parents Organization, began providing childbirth education.
”We were successful,” said Allen, ”because we had this absolute religious fervor that we had to change things. The options in childbirth today are the result of so many of us banging the drum 20 years ago.”
In the summer of 1972, a visiting mothers` service was developed to answer the questions of new parents after their baby was born. Later, the group expanded further by offering parent education programs.
PACES is supported by fundraising efforts on the part of the membership, by private contributions and by professional sponsors who in their various fields work with children. These include pediatricians, dentists, early childhood educators and child psychotherapists.
Said Mary Kay Kramer, a family therapist and PACES sponsor, ”I`m very impressed with PACES` goals and philosophies. So many times mothers don`t know what to expect in terms of adjusting to being home all day with a baby or in terms of developmental changes. But when mothers can support each other, they`re more able to put their minds at ease.”
PACES` founding mothers knew they had hit upon something special back in 1972. Yet today, they are amazed at the extent of growth that the organization has experienced.
Said Allen, ”I had no idea that PACES would ever become this large. But when you consider that the need was there, the people were there, the opportunity was there, it would`ve been hard for this organization to fail. It was one of those things that was meant to be.”
Now headquartered in Lombard since moving from its Western Springs location, PACES has grown to the point where it has been divided into eight regions, which encompass nearly all Chicago suburbs.
”It`s been a real challenge for PACES to keep a neighborhood feeling,”
said Joanne Guida of Hinsdale, a mother of two. ”So far we`ve been able to do that by dividing into regions. This keeps the groups small enough so people don`t end up feeling lost in the crowd.”
Glenda Dailey of Elmhurst, a mother of two and PACES` vice president of public relations, said most new parents learn about PACES through their Lamaze instructors.
”In Lamaze class, parents are invited to register if they`d like to be contacted by our Helpline callers,” she said, referring to the calling service that has taken the place of the visiting mothers` service.
Helpline callers are seasoned moms, those who have recently been through the experience of childbirth and new motherhood themselves.
”Callers are given the names of the parents-to-be and we make the initial contacts,” said Dailey. ”Then the Helpline caller leaves her phone number and the parents can call her if they have questions. We offer non-medical advice and support and can answer questions about the birthing process, about breastfeeding or about the period of adjustment for new moms.” Mothers are also informed about PACES` new motherhood seminars, which are offered in various neighborhoods.
Helpline callers have been able to put mothers with special needs in touch with each other.
”We`ve connected mothers with twins, moms whose children have Down`s syndrome and mothers who`ve experienced miscarriage or ectopic pregnancies,” said Dailey.
When, in the twinkling of an eye, the newborn becomes a toddler, mothers whose children are in this stage of development are invited to participate in toddler seminars. These are led by experienced mothers who`ve taken specialized training. Here mothers receive the support and companionship of other moms who have children the same age, as well as information about issues such as toilet training and discipline.
Other workshops address the topics of sibling rivalry and how to improve communications within a family.
Close friendships have evolved through seminars, said Dailey.
”The moms form play groups for their children and end up becoming good friends. One play group has been meeting for over 11 years. The kids aren`t playing anymore, but the moms still get together,” Dailey said.
Through the years, a myriad of services has been developed, among those a lending library and a car seat rental program.
Members also regularly sponsor book sales and speak to organizations and schools. They have taught parents in other cities how to start parenting groups and have sent representatives to Washington, D.C., to participate in the White House Conference on Families.
The monthly newsletter, the Pacesetter, keeps members informed when PACES sponsors special events. In the past, the group has featured nationally known child development experts such as Drs. Burton White, T. Berry Brazelton, Fitzhugh Dodson and Lendon Smith.
Former PACES president Mary Tworek-Tupper said the group plans to recognize, among others, White and Brazelton in honor of the 20th anniversary, for the support and education they have provided PACES members.
”We`ll be sending them letters of appreciation, as well as to Barbara Bush for her stance on family values and Oprah Winfrey for her work on behalf of abused children. And Mr. Rogers, for obvious reasons,” she said, referring to Fred Rogers of the children`s television show ”Mr. Rogers` Neighborhood.” The profile of PACES moms has changed somewhat during the last 20 years, said Guida.
”There`s a broader group of mothers out there who need support. We`ve started offering adoptive parent seminars and we`re seeing more working moms within our membership than before.”
Although any mother can attest to the adage ”every mother is a working mother,” full-time motherhood is still not receiving the acclaim that it deserves, said Tworek-Tupper.
”In our society, it`s still not considered work.”
PACES affirms to mothers that their work is valuable.
”I feel that a negative stigma exists toward the woman who chooses to stay home with her children,” said Dailey, ”but I feel that this was the best choice for me. The longer I`m home, the more I`m convinced that this is the very best thing for my children. But whether working at home or outside the home, a personal choice should be respected no matter what choice a mother makes.”
For mothers who choose to stay home while raising their families, PACES provides opportunities to use their education and update their skills for that time when they are ready to return to the workplace.
Said Tworek-Tupper, who has a master`s degree in social work, ”Even though this is volunteer work, working with PACES has been the best job I`ve ever had. I`ve used the skills that I went to school for, and through the work I`ve done for this organization, I`ve learned a lot more. It`s nice to be able to take my skills with me.”
Tworek-Tupper is now working part time in the social services field developing parent-training groups.
”I feel that I got this job because of the work I had done with PACES,” she said.
An active membership returns to the organization in services and expertise as much as they receive in terms of parent education.
Said Dailey, ”I`m always amazed at the caliber of people that I`ve met through PACES. We`ve had CPAs who were our treasurers, people who had worked in marketing, teaching, in the medical field. We have a psychologist on the speakers` bureau who speaks at high schools on child abuse. These women have made the choice to be home with their children, but they`re able to keep their professional skills sharp by volunteering their time.”
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PACES is seeking alumni for a 25th anniversary reunion in October. For more information, call 708-916-3190.
