When parents pick up their children at the end of the day at a Palos Park day care facility, they may hear tales about story time or lunchtime. They may also hear about Grandma Helen and Grandma Elsie.
The two older women, Helen Bousek and Elsie Tikalsky, are not the maternal or paternal grandmother of anyone at the center, but are two residents of Peace Memorial Village who volunteer their time to be with the children.
Although many children throughout the southwest suburbs and the rest of the country may be separated, geographically or otherwise, from their grandparents, they can still find opportunities for contact with the older population through intergenerational programs such as the one recently started by Peace Memorial Child Care Center and Peace Memorial Village, a retirement complex.
The not-for-profit day care center and the retirement center, located across the grounds from the day care center, are owned by Peace Memorial Church, also part of the complex.
The two women, along with the center’s 100 children, are taking part in a program beneficial both to the children and the senior citizens, one that reflects an aim of the church, which is part of the United Church of Christ, according to Deborah Boniface of Orland Park, president of the Peace Memorial child care board.
“We always had a goal to bring these two generations together,” she said, an aim that was accomplished with some careful but flexible planning.
“We decided to test the waters,” Boniface said. “If we felt the need, we could easily cut back; nothing was written in stone.”
What they hope now, however, is to involve more seniors in the program. They share this goal with other organizations that are seeking ways to bridge the generations. When planned and implemented well, professionals say, the benefits are enormous. Children learn from the wisdom of their elders; the older generation enjoys companionship and the joys of watching and helping children learn and grow.
“I think such programs are great in today’s society, with families off in different directions,” said Marcia Ciccone, senior services coordinator for Orland Township. “I personally can see a difference between the relationship of my parents and my children from the (closer) relationship I had with my grandparents.”
In a fast-paced society, Ciccone said, it’s good to see the bonds that form in such programs.
“Seniors have fascinating stories to tell and life experiences to share,” she said. “It is a nice way to communicate this with youth.”
She added that the benefits are for seniors as well. “Seniors enjoy being with younger people, being in touch with youth,” she said. “I think it is a nice match at both ends.”
Although the township does not have programs officially labeled “intergenerational,” Ciccone said the staff strives to find programs that will appeal to a variety of age groups so grandparents will be encouraged to attend with their grandchildren.
The partnership at Peace Memorial came about because both day care and senior care workers saw the possibilities of forging such a link. Elizabeth Flores Ketchmark, director of the day care center, said seniors rock infants as young as six weeks old. With the older children (the center accepts children up to age 12), they share storytime, snacks, picnic lunches, puzzles and conversation. The children will visit the seniors at their center for monthly birthday parties held for the residents, giving the children opportunities to interact with more of the senior citizens.
“The parents enjoy it as much as the children,” said Flores Ketchmark, who added that many of the children have grandparents who live out of state.
“This is educational for the children,” said Diane Picard, resident services director of Peace Memorial Village. “Children see the older person as an active, healthy adult.”
“They see that these adults have so many things to offer,” Flores Ketchmark said.
Bousek and Tikalsky, residents of the assisted living part of the village, were chosen for the program despite the physical ailments that slow them down. Because they cannot attend as many of the seniors’ outings as residents without physical limitations, they look forward to these visits.
And in this case, that is an advantage. “Many of the seniors say they would like to get involved with the children,” Picard said, “but they are so busy they are not always available.”
“When Grandma Elsie and Grandma Helen show up, the children are shouting, `Grandma! Grandma!’ They give them hugs and kisses. When the grandmas are rocking the babies, the 2-year-olds passing by are blowing them kisses,” Flores Ketchmark said.
This intergenerational exchange isn’t limited to the Peace Memorial campus. At Carl Sandburg High School in Orland Park, students held a dance for senior citizens last year. Although the dance was just a one-time event, the involvement of senior citizens in Consolidated High School District 230 is important and continuing, according to Ronald Barnes, school superintendent.
Last year, for instance, the district started a senior citizen advisory committee of 12 members, at the prompting of school board member Lucille Banaszak, who sought community involvement in the schools.
During the last year, the district and its seniors have been getting to know each other. “We are searching for opportunities for connection,” Barnes said. “We are looking for ways for them to help us by volunteering in the schools, but right now we are in the infant stage.”
Senior citizens now participate by attending school events, such as plays, sports activities and concerts for free, through use of a special Gold Card they can apply for at the district office in Palos Hills.
Elenore Cwiak, a senior citizen from Palos Park who serves on the committee, said her involvement has been a real eye-opener.
“I am quite impressed with the concerns and problems they address,” she said, such as teacher-student ratios, facilities and budgetary concerns. “It constantly amazes me.”
Patricia Le Noble of Palos Heights, another senior citizen on the committee, said the seniors get a lot of information, including on budget matters, during their meetings with district officials.
They also share information of their own. “A member asked several questions that had to do with the way things were when we went to school,” Le Noble said. “We learn a lot.”
Barnes said all three of the district’s high schools (Stagg in Palos Hills, Sandburg in Orland Park and Andrew in Palos Heights) have hosted breakfasts for senior citizens, but he said the district is seeking “active involvement” from seniors at many different levels.
Another long-term project is the Senior Connection Program, begun a year ago by Trailways Girl Scout Council of Joliet. Girl Scouts visited seniors at several retirement facilities within the council’s area, and the results were gratifying for all, according to Debbie Lesh, director of fund development for the council.
She said that 80 scouts, from towns including Plainfield, Wilmington and Beecher, worked with 800 senior citizens in area nursing homes.
“The girls were surprised that the seniors were so patient,” Lesh said. “For many of the seniors, the girls reminded them of their grandchildren or the times when they were young themselves.” This year the program will be expanded, she added.
Mindy Mashburn, 13, an 8th-grader at Stevens Middle School in Wilmington, went monthly to Embassy Care Center in Wilmington with other members of Girl Scout Troop 526.
“I felt it helped me understand what an older person is like,” she said. “I thought they could not do a lot, but I found out that you can have fun with them.”
In Palos Park, Grandma Helen Bousek’s eyes shine as she talks about her time at the day care center. “You would think those babies would cry and cry,” she said, “but they notice your face and remember it the next time. They know you and know your voice.”
She relishes her visits there. “It sure beats sitting around doing nothing,” she said, although Picard asserted that this woman is always up and about trying to help other residents in the retirement center.
Five-year-old Zach Pozulp of Orland Park remembers the grandmas singing happy birthday at the center. “We eat sometimes,” he said. “I like it when they come here.”
The program of which Flores Ketchmark and the others at Peace Memorial are most proud.
“The type of activity,” Boniface said, “isn’t as important as the relationships that are formed.”
