Nancy Sullivan was looking for love.
After getting a divorce two years ago, the 37-year-old Orland Park resident tried the bars, only to find them “horrible.” Her friends failed as matchmakers. And because she worked for a small business, the pool of eligibles at work was negligible. When she didn’t meet Mr. Right after a year of looking, Sullivan joined the Selective Singles club in Wheaton.
“The club gave me a bright new outlook on being single,” said Sullivan. “I now believe it is possible to fall in love and meet some really good people through a singles club.
Her story is common among singles, more and more of whom turn to singles clubs. The southwest suburbs are home to about a dozen singles clubs, each with a membership of about 100 to 400. Among the clubs are Singles Unlimited; Southwest Archdiocesan Singles, based in Chicago’s Beverly neighborhood; Helpmates, with chapters all over the Midwest, including Orland Park; and United Singles, with clubs in Joliet and Morris.
The clubs offer social activities and then some. Helpmates offers support for people who have just become single, whether through a divorce, separation or death of a spouse. United Singles emphasizes friendship, including for example, checking on members who are hospitalized, said John Murphy of Wilmington, president of the Joliet group. Southwest Archdiocesan Singles, under the auspices of the Chicago Catholic archdiocese, promotes social, cultural and spiritual development in its members. Singles Unlimited, which has drawn mainly from the southwest suburbs for about 20 years, is primarily for socializing.
“I’m out for friendship, which I’m finding here,” Carol Malinowski said of Helpmates. Malinowski, 45, joined to meet people after recently moving to Joliet.
To help members make new friends, most groups usually schedule at least a half-dozen events each month. On Super Bowl weekend, most groups held a party to watch the game. Other events included a dance and a bowling party.
Those activities give singles a chance to have fun, make new friends and maybe even find romance. The groups all claim responsibility for dozens of marriages. Southwest Archdiocesan Singles boasts 85 marriages since its formation in 1979, according to president Marian Berrigan of Oak Lawn.
Chester Michalowski of Homewood is included in that tally. He joined the club in 1979, but didn’t meet his wife, Debra, until 1991, when she came to the club’s Valentine’s Day dance.
“There were these three girls sitting at this table,” he remembered as he thought back to his arrival at the dance. “I asked two of them to dance. (They) said no. I asked the other girl, and she said `sure.’ She said she felt sorry for me.
“We danced. We talked. We had a lot in common. A lot in common. We went out. In April, she asked me to come to her sister’s wedding,” said Michalowski, 38. One thing led to another, and Chester and Debra were married in October 1992.
Don and Winnie Pluto of Orland Park met through the Singles Unlimited Club.
Don, 51, had been a member for several years when Winnie, 55, joined in 1985. They began dating the following year and married in October 1992.
“I really wasn’t looking for anything except for some nice people-somewhere in my age bracket-to be around and to go to dinner with on occasion,” she recalled.
Like most singles clubs, Singles Unlimited drops married members from its rolls. However, most groups invite their married alumni back to a special event or two each year.
Jennifer Johnson, who is in her 30s, recently returned to the dating scene after her marriage of nine years ended in divorce.
“I didn’t want a meat market,” said Johnson, of Morris. “I didn’t want a bunch of drunks. I just wanted where men and women could get together, talk, dance and go home … separately.”
After a friend told her about United Singles, Johnson talked to some other members of the Morris club and decided to go to one of its events. Her first encounter with the group was at its seventh anniversary dinner-dance on a recent Saturday night.
“I’m having a very good time,” she said during a dance break. “It was very scary and very awkward to walk in here. And I would have rather stayed home and watched `Star Trek.’ But I’m glad I’m here.”
Terry Meiners, who works in Brookfield and lives in Dixon, recently started attending Helpmates meetings in Orland Park. Meiners, 38, turned to the group after a divorce.
“The most important thing I found was that there are so many other singles in the area,” he said at a recent meeting. “When I come to a group like this, I don’t feel alone.”
Bud Caffarello, 74, started attending Helpmates in 1991 to find companionship. Elsie, his wife of 43 years, had died in 1987. Members of singles clubs range in age from their 20s to their 70s, with many in the 30 to 50 bracket.
“I’ll be honest,” Caffarello recalled. “The first couple of times, I walked out. It felt funny.”
But he said he returned because he enjoyed the club’s activities, such as dances and trips. Caffarello said he also was drawn back by the friendship. “I can’t wait until Thursday night (when the group holds its meetings). You meet some real nice people.”
Most singles groups charge an annual membership fee of $15 to $25, which covers mailing, copying and other administrative costs. Selective Singles is different. It’s a business that charges $499 for the first six months and $200 for each additional six months, said president Eileen Messier of Homer Township, who co-founded the club in 1992. Members can attend seminars and parties offered by the group. Membership is offered after a lengthy interview, and about 82 percent of the club’s applicants are invited to join, she said.
Joyce, a 29-year-old Tinley Park woman who preferred not to use her last name, joined the club in late 1992.
“It was an opportunity to meet a large group of single men and women. I’ve made five or six new girlfriends,” Joyce said.
And she met Fred, 41, who lives in Elmhurst. He joined about the same time Joyce did, and they have been dating since last May.
