“I love your verses with all my heart, dear Miss Barrett … and I love you, too.”
So the English poet Robert Browning wrote to fellow muse Elizabeth Barrett in 1845, triggering a tide of penned passion. The love letters persuaded his reluctant paramour to see him and, eventually, marry him.
Today, Browning would be lost. Imagine the scene: He would leave hesitant messages on Barrett’s answering machine, while she stood there screening his calls with a smirk. And think: She would never have written the passion poem extraordinaire, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways …”
Pity our generation of lovers, when the extent of written communication is a Post-It note stuck on the refrigerator.
“Letter-writing, the old-fashioned kind, is down to 6 percent of all the mail the post office delivers,” bemoaned Steve Sikora, publisher of The Letter Exchange magazine in Albany, Calif.
In the age of voice mail, e-mail and telephones, is the art of writing love letters lost for good?
Maybe not.
Nick Bartock’s best-selling book trilogy, beginning with “Griffin and Sabine: An Extraordinary Correspondence” ($17.95, Chronicle Books), includes fictitious love letters readers unfold and peruse. The movie “Shadowlands” describes author C.S. Lewis’ greatest romance, which began with letters. In an episode of television’s “Seinfeld,” Jerry gives an ex-girlfriend another chance because she writes a wrenching missive.
“A piece of language that comes to us through the air is harder to ignore,” said Ed Stieve, coordinator of writing programs at Nova Southeastern University in Davie, Fla.
A well-crafted love letter may be just the jump-start your love life is lacking.
The first rule of Letter-Writing 101, said Stieve, is to be fresh. As in breezy and unforgettable. “Avoid cliches and worn-out expressions. If I were getting a love letter, I would want something specific and something original,” he said.
In other words, ignore those celebrated love lines. Browning’s words worked for him; that doesn’t mean they’ll work for you.
“A person writing a love letter had better think, above all, of the audience and personalize the thing. That’s one of the reasons a mere formula doesn’t work,” said Ron Newman, director of English composition at the University of Miami. “Otherwise, we’re writing little Hallmark cards, little poems that will do for anybody.”
An example: “The thing that moves me most about you is your” (insert remarkable personality trait or feature here), “which captured my attention the moment we met” (insert meeting place). “I knew I wanted to know you better because” (insert flattering, genuine reason).
But please, be creative. Don’t just fill in the blanks.
The Letter Exchange, which has a circulation of 2,000, is dedicated to the art of letter-writing. Correspondents pick particular topics-politics or social relationships, for example-and write to each other through the magazine.
Sikora founded the magazine, he said, because he loves writing letters. Love letters, in particular, sustained him when he felt isolated and confused while stationed in Vietnam.
“Our magazine is not for romance. But what has happened is that people write these letters back and forth and friendships do start up, and there have been a dozen marriages,” Sikora said.
Sikora’s advice to letter-writing novices:
“In the case of love letters, it should come down to counting the pronouns-if there are more `yous’ than there are `I’s,’ you’re on the right track,” Sikora said. “Whenever I open a letter, I’m looking for me. I’m the center of my world. That’s the nice thing about letters; each person gets to take center stage and own that center stage as long as the letter lasts.”
Historical romance writer Judy Cuevas, who lives in South Miami, featured love letters in her novel “Black Silk” in 1991, but there was a flaw in her characters’ tactics: The letters were insincere, so they didn’t work.
“A love letter should represent who you really are,” said Cuevas. “Love letters should expose you, and these (characters) go a long way not to expose themselves, and to take no risks.”
Part of being yourself is to expose your handwriting. Whenever possible, Cuevas said, letters should be written by hand. And choose the right paper or stationery, a texture or design you think will appeal to your beloved.
“All of it can really convey something… something a little tactile, as well as beautiful-beautiful to the eyes as well as what feels good in the hand,” Cuevas said.
If you have any doubt about the allure of letters, consider the Nick Bartock “Griffin and Sabine” phenomenon. Bartock’s books include handwritten postcards and letters tucked inside envelopes. Of the first book alone, a million hardback copies are in print.
“People are so inundated with computer stuff that the art of letter-writing suddenly struck such a romantic and sensitive issue. What a joy it is to come home and receive a postcard and a letter and have something tangible you can hold,” said Mary Anne Gilderbloom, senior publicist for Chronicle Books in San Francisco, Bartock’s publisher.
“You think about it, you ponder it. It’s a more conscious effort when you have pen in hand, because once you have it on paper you can’t go back and edit it on computer. There’s so much more thought into it,” Gilderbloom said.
