It’s 10 in the morning. Do you know where your children are?
If they are members of Condell Medical Center’s 27,000-square-foot, $5.5 million Day Center for Intergenerational Care in Libertyville, they may be learning how to cut out a paper snowflake with grandma.
In today’s society, with many elderly people becoming isolated and many children exposed to few adults other than parents or teachers, Condell’s program has found that contact between the elderly (called grandpas and grandmas) and children creates a two-way street of caring, helping and learning about life’s cycles, including death.
For three years, 135 children aged 6 weeks to 6 years and as many as 40 elderly people have participated in Condell’s intergenerational day care, splitting time daily between activities with others their own age and with a generation seemingly a world apart.
“This is the first facility in the Midwest built from the ground up for the specific purpose of providing intergenerational care of this type,” said Ina Albert, public relations director for the hospital.
The idea came from Patricia Austin, vice president of outreach services, when the hospital decided to offer a child day-care center as an incentive for retaining good employees (it is open to non-employees as well). Austin suggested bringing in the adult day care, which it was operating off the site, and combining the two.
“After we did some research, we realized that everything we read pointed toward good benefits for both age groups in that type of situation,” Austin said. “It’s worked out better than we’d ever hoped. We take such pride in the place.”
According to Mary Jeanne Clark, the program’s director, the bond created between the children and adults takes its own course.
“When we have song time, the children come in and sit where they want,” Clark said. “Once children become 1 1/2 to 2 years old, they are (uncomfortable) with strangers. But over time they come in and know that this grandma is their special thing, and they run right up to them and form these wonderful relationships.”
One such relationship a couple of years ago was between Bobby, who was 3 or 4 at the time, and Grandpa Art. Lynn Allison, director of the children’s program, recalled how Bobby would have nothing to do with any of the elderly people for a long time.
“Then one day Bobby said, `I want to sit next to him,’ and he walked over to Grandpa Art,” Allison said. “The next day Bobby made something for him, and then Art brought something for Bobby. And when he went away for a while, he came back with a special present just for Bobby.”
But with age comes weakness. Most of the elderly clients have some form of dementia or physical illness that makes it unsafe for them to be home alone.
Grandpa Art began to deteriorate, Allison said, and so did the relationship, because they could not interact as they once had. Grandpa Art left the program and died soon after.
“Bobby may not remember Grandpa Art, but we’re hoping Bobby may have a feeling inside him that will make him more tolerant of older people,” Allison said.
Clark said that because the concept of death is abstract for children, they learn to react by watching those around them. If everyone else is sobbing, then the children probably will act the same way.
The center’s teachers and volunteers choose to treat deaths as a time to remember the deceased fondly. How to talk about death or aging is often left up to the children, Clark added.
To explain the effects of aging, teachers sometimes put Vaseline on the lenses of a pair of glasses to simulate poor eyesight or have the children put cotton in their ears to replicate hearing impairment.
“We don’t give any explanations that a child can’t handle or doesn’t even want,” Clark said. “The kids will bring up things they need to know.”
Parents are allowed to drop by and watch their children through the classroom windows, but most working parents do not have the time.
Debra Lo, who works in Libertyville, placed daughter Natalie in the program two years ago after hearing positive comments about it from friends.
“She wouldn’t have this kind of opporunity to interact with older people because her grandparents live out of state,” Lo said. “Now she’s very comfortable with older people because they are very good at making it all a normal part of life.”
While the activities allow for maximum interaction, each day’s events are strictly scheduled for children and adults. Intergenerational events are mainly in the morning, with a few visitations in the afternoon. All of the children are involved, even the infants, who are often held by the elderly.
Although the child day-care program has a waiting list (parents often register their unborn children), there are still openings for adults.
“No one really prepares for adult day care,” Clark said. “It’s a concept that’s relatively new.”
The price for elderly care, five days a week from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m., is about $160. Prices for children range from $136 to $186.50 for weeklong programs. Prices vary depending on how many days a child goes, but Clark stressed that this is neither a baby-sitting service nor a nursing home.
“We provide a learning, growth development for the children,” Clark said. “They’re playing, but we plan for them to learn in play.”
The only requirements for the adults is that they be 55 or older, have enough mobility that they can take care of themselves with minimal help and behave appropriately socially.
According to Albert, the public relations director, the elderly day-care cost is often offset by lengthening the time the elderly can remain in their homes instead of being moved to a nursing facility. The relationships with the children, Albert said, can revitalize a tired spirit.
“This program can prolong the time a family can stay together,” Albert said. “We keep them busy here so they sleep better at night, which is a real problem for Alzheimer’s patients. There’s a lot of activity here and not a lot of sleeping.”
Activities for the elderly include “bowling” in the solarium, board games, occasional field trips and some exercise and relaxation time.
The adult side of the facility has been designed to be non-threatening to dementia patients. There are no mirrors, the colors of the walls and furniture are muted, and there is ample sunlight from the solarium.
The children’s side contains two classrooms for infants and toddlers and specially designed playrooms for 3- to 5-year-olds. The kindergarten is full time and accredited.
Albert developed strong feelings for this type of program and the positive aspcts of intergenerational contact after watching her mother die of Alzheimer’s.
“Here the grandpas and grandmas are not disciplinarians,” Albert said. “The children don’t have to please them. They simply love each other as they are.”
