Parents are known to be leaving children unsupervised over summer at too young an age. Children in elementary school may be able to fend for themselves for two hours after school, but it’s hard for them to cope alone for an entire day while parents work.
One of the nation’s leading child development experts urges parents to create structured schedules for their adolescents during summer.
Child psychologist Dr. Thomas Long, an associate professor of education who teaches at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C., has studied for decades how well children cope taking care of themselves. His research resulted in the term “latchkey” children.
“Generally, I don’t think any child 10 and younger should be left unattended on a regular basis,” he said.
“During the summer you can’t leave these young kids home alone all day long. Finding placements for them is a must.” He called an 8- or 10-year-old left home alone “an accident waiting to happen.” And he’s not worried about just physical harm:
“The kids’ emotional life is being stifled. They need interaction with other children. If there’s a thunderstorm, they’re going to be frightened. They are forced to cope with things before they’re developmentally ready.”
Long traces parents’ increasingly leaving young children unattended to the embrace of “work as a value” over children. When that attitude took hold, parents started seeing the world through their own eyes, “their own personal need system. It’s easier to convince yourself viewing things that way that your child is going to be OK. Because if not, then you couldn’t work, or the family would have to operate on less income, or whatever.”
And parents take their cues from what others do, regardless of whether it is wise:
“It is internal convincing. When parents look around and see other people working in the neighborhood and leaving children alone they think `This must be OK.’ We need to think this attitude through. We went to one little cul-de-sac and found 24 children with not a single adult there on the street. This wasn’t in a poor section. Everybody just shrugs and says `We’re all doing it.’ “
Parents of adolescents may wonder if they are being sexually active while left unsupervised. Usually sexual experimentation starts at the girl’s home. Things start innocently enough, Long said.
“Usually the kids are watching TV or talking and then one thing leads to another. Once a kid starts being sexually active, it’s very difficult for them to stop.
“That’s true not just with sexual intercourse but with genital touching. . . . They’re finding that latchkey kids with an older sibling at home may be at risk of sexual abuse.”
Parents tell their children to stay home, but boys more typically won’t. Long said: “Girls tend to keep the stay-at-home rule. But what often happens, if the parents are on a regular schedule and no one is checking up on them, is that the house is pretty much theirs until somebody comes home at 6. Even if there’s a single phone check by the parent, that’s not enough.”
Long’s book, “On My Own,” has a chapter on how to tell is a child is ready for self care. It has situations listed for parents to ask children how they’d respond.
“If they’re operating in an unsafe manner or make choices that would damage them,” then you get the idea.
In most communities there are activities and care-providers available.
Some programs are for recreation, not child care. That means a child may leave the program and no one will call a parent. Or a child may not show up and no one will call the parent.
Adolescents who don’t need constant supervision still need lots of connections with their parents.
“We very often suggest to parents that you don’t just make it a one-way street. Besides having the child call you, parents should call and say `I’m thinking about you.’ That does two things. It lets the child know the parent is involved, and it’s a check point” to find out what’s going on. Consider dropping by home unannounced to see what’s happening.
“It’s not good for kids to just `hang out,’ ” Long said. “It’s too difficult for them to continuously fill their time with anything productive.
“There’s a great tendency to do repetitive things like watch television or play video games. Especially with 15- and 16-year-olds, opportunities increase, not decrease, as children get older. If children are too young to get a job, they should volunteer, attend camps or take classes in an area of special interest.”
