A big, cushy touring bus, the kind with tinted windows, a bathroom stall and intercom system, eased onto the Kennedy Expressway from the Ontario Street ramp. Almost on cue, passengers began parading up and down the aisle. One was swathed in a drift net tangled with seashells. Another peeked out from under a floppy hat with about 47 fishing lures bobbing off the brim. Someone else clutched a big rubber trout, pretending to make it swim circles around a fellow passenger’s head, who appeared not to notice that her air space had turned into an imaginary deep sea. Everyone was eating shrimp cocktail.
Something fishy was going on.
The bus had left Shaw’s Crab House and was headed upstream, north of Milwaukee, to Port Washington, Wis., proud home of the “World’s Largest Smelt Fry,” an annual event held at the local American Legion Post. The 40 or so passengers made the most of the trip, held last April, by staging all sorts of maritime activities, including the fish fashion show, a Great Lakes trivia test and the recitation of an endless stream of cod-awful puns.
The bus trip, the eighth that Shaw’s has sponsored, was just one of the rituals staged in honor of this rite of spring, the running of smelts. Stroll Chicago’s lakefront or any harbor along the Lake Michigan shoreline during smelt season and you’ll witness many other smaller rituals that pay homage to these silvery-gray swimmers. It might be nothing more elaborate than a cold beer raised in toast to the little Piscean pleasures. Or it might be as visceral as the inviolate tradition demanding that the person who catches the first smelt eats that smelt. In situ. En toto. As in raw. And alive. Head first.
With a little bit of goading, a smelter at Port Washington’s public pier upheld the tradition, dangling the fresh little snack above his upturned head and finally, chowing down.
At the Port Washington smelt fry, the smelts are nearly that fresh but, mercifully, they’re cooked first, dunked into batter and fried to the type of crunchy, golden perfection that makes it impossible to eat just a few. Sides of coleslaw, rye bread and ice cold beer make them even more palatable.
Two days are devoted to the little critters that people either love or loathe. Between Friday afternoon and Saturday night, more than 2,600 people will file into the American Legion hall and have their fill of smelts–or schmelts, as folks tend to call them around these parts.
It’s an all-you-can-eat affair and at 7 bucks a head, people do justice to big appetites. The crowd sits at long picnic tables set up in the main hall. The overflow heads to tents set up outside. Most people come to the smelt fry clutching bottles. Not beer, wine or hooch, but ketchup, tartar sauce and hot sauce. No condiments are included at the hall, save for boxes of salt plopped on each table.
The fry has been held by American Legion Post 82 since 1951, when the Legionnaires first landed on the idea of a fundraiser that took advantage of the abundance of local smelt and at the same time tapped into the hobby of choice for many of the locals, who fish almost as naturally as they breathe. Merlyn “Sleepy” Scharnow helped plan the ’51 smelt fry and every one since. He’ll gladly tell the fish tale to anyone who cares to listen, but before he begins, he’s apt to buy the first round of beer.
In the early years, the members of Post 82 caught, cleaned and cooked all the smelts. Scharnow recalled that the average need back then was smaller, less than 600 pounds. Their strategy of self-sufficiency ended as the smelt fry became more popular.
“There are about 34 to 38 smelts per pound. Now, you clean 600 pounds of smelts and then tell me why we started buying them,” he said, adding that the post buys fresh smelts from a Port Washington company. The current order is around 2,600 pounds — roughly 93,600 smelts.
Scharnow turned uncharacteristically coy when pressed about the batter used to coat the smelts.
“I know the secret, but don’t ask,” he said with crossed arms and an air of finality.
Does it have flour?
“Yes.”
What about beer?
“Well, some.”
Are they dipped in crumbs?
“Possibly.”
He divulged a few helpful tips–that the smelts are cleaned then soaked several times so there’s nary a whiff of fishiness, that they’re cooked only in peanut oil and that the temperature of the oil is critical. Satisfied that he’d said enough, he rerouted the interrogation with a paper plate heaped with just-fried smelts. In his audience was a lone soul who had never tasted smelts, in fact, had determinedly avoided them. Scharnow beckoned a group of his fellow Legionnaires and they coached and cajoled until that was no longer the case.
“Eat dem tails. Eat dem tails,” they chanted, stopping only when the smelt was gone, tail and all.
Smelts are young and tender enough that eating bones and tails isn’t really an issue, especially when the smelts are fried, as they usually are. The skeptical do well not to think about what they’re actually ingesting.
“It’s like eating french fries,” said Jerry Dries, a past commander of the post and a self-described “taster” for the smelt fry. “They’re crispy and so fresh you never get a fishy taste. There’s nothing better. You get hooked on these things.”
FRY FACTS
This year, Shaw’s Crab House will sponsor the bus trip to the American Legion Smelt Fry in Port Washington, Wis., on April 13. The day kicks off with Bloody Marys and bagels at Shaw’s, 21 E. Hubbard St., and at Shaw’s Seafood Grill at 660 Lake Cook Rd., Deerfield.
Buses leave at 11 a.m. from Chicago; 11:30 a.m. from Deerfield. En route, there will be a box lunch, then stops at the Pabst Brewery in Milwaukee and Sprecher Brewery Co. in Glendale, Wis.
On arrival at Port Washington, it’s time to “eat dem tails.” Buses are scheduled to return between 8 and 9 p.m.
The cost is $45 per person; reservations are required. Call 312-527-2722 or 847-948-1020 to reserve.
The Smelt Fry takes place from 4 to 10 p.m. April 12 and from 2 to 10 p.m. April 13 at the American Legion Post 82, 435 Lake St., Port Washington, Wis. For more information, call 414-284-4690.
The Highland Park Smelt-O-Rama takes place April 28, starting at dusk, around 7 p.m. The free event is held at the Highland Park Yacht Club, Park Avenue and the lake.
IT SMELTS IN YOUR MOUTH
“Ya catch ’em, kill ’em and clean ’em,” explains Ginna Shannon, an organizer of Shaw’s annual smelt trip and avid lakefront smelter. With those words, she effectively reduces smelts to the most simple of formulas, on paper, at least.
Because of uncooperative weather, the formula hasn’t worked out quite like that in the last few years. Drop nets, gill lines and seines have been coming up near-empty, with legendary 50-pound yields now just fodder for fish tales.
But hope springs eternal for smelters. This year, as always during smelt season (April 1 through 30), buckets, nets and plenty of beer will be carted to the lake, along with frying pans for on-site cooking, just in case the tides turn.
Smelts–rainbow herring, actually–aren’t native to Lake Michigan. (The Atlantic Ocean is their original home.) That they swim here is a bit of an accident, attributed to seasonal wanderlust brought on by the urge to mate. When this century was young, smelts that had been stocked in a small lake in Michigan escaped. Some ended up in Lake Michigan, where they have come to exist quite nicely.
Springtime means spawning, and enormous schools of smelt flock toward the warmer waters near the shore for this annual ritual. Warm water, which in Chicago in early April means a bone-chilling 42 degrees or so, is ideal to get the smelts running.
When elbow-to-elbow smelters take their spots on the lakeshore at dusk Monday, their hopes will be pinned on temperate conditions. A low pressure system, with southerly winds and calm waters, are favorable.
Assuming that nets come up with a big, squirming collection of smelts, cleaning them is next on the agenda. Dan Deuel, organizer of the Highland Park Park District’s annual Smelt-O-Rama (held this year on April 28 at North Shore Yacht Club), says that with scissors and a bucket of water, it’s child’s play.
“You take the scissors and nip their little heads off. Then, you nip down their bellies,” he says, adding that a bucket of water comes in handy.
One goal of Smelt-O-Rama is to introduce smelting to a younger crowd. Deuel says that kids as young as 4 gamely lop off heads and gut the fish, then drop them into batter and skillet.
“They eat them just like french fries,” Deuel says.
He adds that he routinely makes an expedition to ” `lake’ Jewel” the day before, just in case the nets come up empty.
“We got skunked last year.”
Regardless of whether they get nabbed in the net or swim off to freedom, smelts’ days are numbered after smelting season. Says Deuel, “If we don’t eat them, the bigger fish will.”
PORT WASHINGTON FRIED SMELT
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 3 minutes per batch
Yield: 6 servings
The batter used to coat the smelts for the Port Washington fry is a closely held secret. But a few details slipped out and we grabbed them.
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup beer
1 1/4 to 1 1/2 cups water
20 unsalted saltine crackers, crushed to fine crumbs
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
48 ounces peanut or vegetable oil
2 pounds smelts, cleaned
1. Combine flour, beer and 1 1/4 cups water in a large bowl, whisking until smooth. Add more water if needed to make a thin batter. Combine cracker crumbs and cornmeal in a pie plate.
2. Heat oil in a heavy, deep saucepan over medium-high heat to 375 degrees, using a deep-fry thermometer if you have one.
3. Working with a few at a time, dip smelts in beer batter, allowing excess to drip off; roll lightly in crumb mixture. Add smelts to hot oil in batches. Cook, moving them around with a slotted spoon, until crisp and brown on all sides, about 3 minutes. Remove with slotted spoon to drain on paper towels. Keep cooked smelts warm in a low oven while frying the rest. Serve hot.
Nutrition information per serving:
Calorie………….520 Fat………….32 g Cholesterol…….105 mg
Sodium………..170 mg Carbohydrates…26 g Protein………….30 g
OLD-FASHIONED SLAW
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Yield: 6 servings
The Legionnaires assigned to the coleslaw detail offered enough clues for us to duplicate their sweet, tangy slaw.
1/3 cup each: water, sugar, white vinegar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 head green cabbage, about 2 pounds, cored, finely shredded
1 small onion, minced
Salt, freshly ground pepper
1. Put water and sugar in a small saucepan or microwave-safe dish. Heat just until sugar dissolves; remove from heat. Add vinegar and oil; mix well.
2. Combine cabbage, onion, salt and pepper to taste in a large bowl. Add vinegar mixture and toss well to coat.
Nutrition information per serving:
Calories………….165 Fat……………10 g Cholesterol…..0 mg
Sodium………….30 mg Carbohydrates…..20 g Protein………..2g
CREAMY DIPPING SAUCE FOR SMELT
Preparation time: 5 minutes
Yield: 1/2 cup
The recipe, developed in the Tribune test kitchen, can be doubled.
1/3 cup mayonnaise
3 tablespoons sour cream
1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning
Hot pepper sauce to taste
1. Mix all ingredients in small bowl; let stand a few minutes to allow flavors to blend (color).
Nutrition information per tablespoon:
Calories………..75 Fat………….80 g Cholestero…….l5 mg
Sodium………130 mg Carbohydrates….0 g Protein…………0 g
