Go after strikes, not teammates.
ON THE CORNER
The NFL will fine Bears cornerback Donnell Woolford more than $400,000 for his drunken driving conviction this year.
This doesn’t mean Woolford gets out of being suspended, too. It just means Commissioner Paul Tagliabue is so overwhelmed with NFL miscreants, he can’t tell the players without a breathalyzer.
MUST-SEE TV
Turns out, The UnaRodman could only go to breakfast, but not to a California Angels game, with Olympic gold-medal swimmer Amanda Beard on Thursday. Seems he had to attend a press conference at NBC for his upcoming role on “Third Rock From the Sun,” where he’ll play an alien.
And save NBC a lot of money on costumes.
BLOCKHEAD MILITIA
With the forecast calling for another day of oppressive heat and humidity in Louisville, Ky., two caddies started the first round of the PGA Championship wearing shorts.
The idea was to protest the silly PGA dress code. The caddies were forced to change into long pants on the second hole.
The PGA apparently believes it’s important to be well-dressed when you need emergency treatment for heat exhaustion the way dozens of fans did before the tournament even began.
And no torn underwear, like your mother always told you.
TAKING A PUNCH
David Reid, the only American boxing gold medalist at the Atlanta Olympics, is turning pro.
Apparently, the greasy underhandedness of professional promoters is better than the greasy underhandedness of amateur judges.
WHO NEEDS TWO?
For the first time since Larry Bird showed up in Boston 17 years ago, the Celtics are accomodating people on their season-ticket waiting list.
In fact, the team’s lousy seasons recently could result in half of the 6,000-name list getting a chance to buy tickets.
This will be you, Bulls fans, around 1999 when Scottie-to-Michael is a memory and Toni-to-Dickey is a turnover.
