Consider the retail boss who told a pregnant employee he didn’t “want anyone to foal on company time.” And the employer who microwaved a mouse for his secretary to find.
Unfortunately, many of us have had terrible bosses, in one form or another. But if you are in a job where your boss is a cretin, are you doomed to suffer in silence or should you try to change the dynamics?
“The answer to this is, `What do you have to lose?’ ” says Jim Miller, author of “Best Boss, Worst Boss,” (Summit Publishing Group, $22.95), who suggests initiating a discussion with your boss about specific concerns. But “never lose your self-respect or dignity,” Miller advises, “and never put the boss in the corner.”
A 44-year-old project manager for a national health care firm based in Chicago says she recalls the worst boss she ever had, a senior buyer 12 years ago at a national retail chain store. “He was vulgar and crass, really an embarrassment,” she says. “Once, on a plant tour of a bakery, he put his hand in an entire vat of cherries to see if (they were) fresh. They had to throw out the contents.”
Now happily employed at another firm, she says she survived her nightmare boss by minimizing contact with him. “When he was blatantly vulgar, I walked away,” she says.
Miller says too many workers suffer through the antics of a bad boss — even the psychologically dangerous ones — for fear of losing a job. Miller did just that. He once had a boss at the former Milwaukee Journal who was so difficult it affected his own health. “But with three kids and a mortgage I thought I would tough it out,” says Miller.
Finally, Miller’s doctor told him his severe ulcers and high blood pressure were a result of stress at his job and that he should quit. He did.
One 28-year-old Chicago family counselor at a child welfare association says her former boss at a women’s shelter was extremely difficult. “She was jealous if you looked better than her and she treated you in a nasty way if she felt intimidated,” says the counselor who worked there three years while she was earning her master’s degree from Chicago State University. “I tried to stay quiet and not make her angry,” she says.
Miller, 66, the founder and former chief executive officer of Miller Business Systems in Arlington, Texas, and also author of “The Corporate Coach” (HarperCollins, $12), says avoidance can work for a time, but trying to change the toxic “chemistry” through dialogue in a non-threatening manner may be another approach.
A 46-year-old northwest suburban Chicago teacher recalls a park district supervisor she had minimal contact with, but who gave her a very bad performance evaluation. “I was in total shock,” she says. “I thought it was somebody else’s evaluation. When I asked her about it she could not give me any concrete examples.”
Some bosses are so bad they leave lasting impressions. Michele Butler, 29, a health services representative for a managed care insurance company in Chicago says at her first summer job at an advertising agency when she was 16, her boss’s superior’s attitude was unforgivable. “My mother was very sick and I asked if I could stay on after the summer because I needed to work,” Butler says. Not only did the superior refuse to extend her employment, she chided Butler’s boss to “never fall for a sad story.”
There are so many different types of bad bosses, from buffoons to Scrooges, Miller says, that he receives thousands of nominations for the national Best Boss/Worst Boss contest he has held each year for the past four years. (The contest is underway now and entry forms can be picked up at major book stores.)
But as an employee beleaguered by one of these horrific types, you can take some control of the situation by acting in a manner that can at least result in minor improvements. Miller suggests attempting to work together, acting with respect, kindness and even empathy toward bosses who earn deserved reputations as Tasmanian devils or con artists. Making frequent suggestions on how to improve morale and taking the initiative to organize them yourself may also neutralize boss-generated negativity.
Still, if change is not forthcoming once you have approached the boss, you might want to approach his or her superior if the situation is highly abusive or threatening.
“If you reach an impasse,” Miller says, “then get out.”
