Finished your Christmas shopping yet?
Do you have your boxes boxed for Boxing Day?
Got a date lined up for New Year’s Eve?
If not, then you probably have greater worries than the answers to a holiday quiz.
But even if the bills aren’t paid, you haven’t yet gotten a gift for Aunt Agnes to match those Wink Martindale pepper pots she gave you last year, or you’re so stressed out that you’re rooting for old man Potter to bankrupt Jimmy Stewart, you can enjoy this mental exercise.
After all, Christmas comes just once a year — or does it (see question 16)?
HOLIDAY QUIZ
1. In recent years, we’ve had dueling “Nutcrackers” in Chicago. One is the traditional performance held in the Arie Crown Theater. This year, another production, held in the Rosemont Theatre, featured the:
A. Joffrey Ballet
B. Hubbard Street Dance Company
C. Ensemble Espanol
D. Richmond Street Dancers
2. Walking downtown during the holiday season, one could see everything but:
A. A dozing lagomorph
B. An English miser near Marina City
C. An American patriot with a wreath around his neck
D. A Greek god waving goodbye to a pigeon
3. Go to some Chicagoland homes over the holidays and you may be treated to lutefisk. This seasonal dish comes from the people who call their homeland:
A. Shqiperi
B. Norge
C. Nippon
D. Espana
4. This jewelry store commercial has been reappearing so often that it has become a Chicago institution. You know, the one with the jewelry salesperson interviewing Santa Claus. The commercial is particularly memorable because of the salesperson’s name, pronounced:
A. Pearl
B. Jewel
C. Ruby
D. Jade
5. If you’ve heard the above ad — and who in or near Chicago hasn’t — you know that Santa Claus has been married:
A. Fifty years
B. A hundred years
C. At least since 1896
D. A thousand years
6. If you faithfully watch “Bozo’s Circus,” you saw a Christmas cartoon that has been around since the early days of Chicago television, telling the story of Santa’s helpers Hardrock and Coco and:
A. Leonardo
B. Willy McGlow
C. Mary (ho-ho)
D. Joe
7. Everyone’s favorite oratorio (indeed, the only one many people know) receives special treatment in Chicago. Perhaps the most unusual performance was one held Dec. 8 that featured:
A. Naked ladies
B. Andorrans
C. Quadrupeds
D. Zithers
8. Holiday-loving theatergoers looking for a new seasonal program might have ventured downtown. If so, perhaps they caught “That’s Christmas!,” starring:
A. Sandy Duncan
B. Sandy Dennis
C. Sandy Amoros
D. Sandy Clawse
9. You never know what might show up at a Chicago holiday exhibit. This year at Navy Pier, for example, international craftsmanship showed itself in the form of:
A. Venezuelan rain catchers
B. Pakistani ponchos
C. Canadian forks
D. Southeast European motor vehicles
10. The city’s official Christmas tree is lit every year the day after Thanksgiving. A couple of days earlier, however, a notable service group lights its own tree at the base of the John Hancock Center. This tree belongs to the:
A. Red Cross
B. Salvation Army
C. Little Sisters of the Poor
D. Goodwill Industries
11. No fair looking, now. This year, the lights at the top of the Sears Tower are:
A. Green on north and south, red on east and west
B. Red on north and south, green on east and west
C. Green on all sides
D. Green on the west, red on the north and south
12. Many Chicago homes vie with one another to display colorful Christmas decorations. But one Northwest Side neighborhood in particular is known for its collective yuletide splendor. The neighborhood is:
A. O’Hare International Airport
B. West Rogers Park
C. Beverly
D. Sauganash
13. New Age pianist George Winston toured northern Illinois in early December, paying tribute to the late Vince Guiraldi. Late jazz pianist Guiraldi is best remembered this time of the year for his musical accompaniment of:
A. Perry Como
B. Bob Hope
C. Charlie Brown
D. John Wayne
14. For years, they’ve held do-it-yourself “Messiahs.” This year we even have a do-it-yourself Hanukkah. One of the stars at this event was a member of the famous folk-singing group:
A. The Limeliters
B. Peter, Paul and Mary
C. Gibson and Camp
D. The Kingston Trio
15. If passing by Lincoln Square, you might be tempted to stop at the Christkindmarkt. If you do, you’re likely to:
A. Break a pinata
B. Sip eggnog
C. Buy a wreath
D. Listen to children singing Handel’s “Messiah”
16. Who says Christmas comes but once a year? If you wish a double yuletide celebration, you can convert to the Orthodox faith and celebrate the holiday in Chicagoland a few days after Dec. 25. But you’d better hurry, because Orthodox Christmas is celebrated on:
A. Jan. 3
B. Jan. 6
C. Jan. 8
D. Jan. 9
17. Is nothing sacred? Not in Chicago at this time of year. All but one of these beloved Christmas classics has been the subject of an update or spoof appearing in Chicago-area theaters this season. What is the lucky story?
A. “Miracle on 34th Street”
B. “Gift of the Magi”
C. “It’s a Wonderful Life”
D. “A Christmas Carol”
18. This is an active time of year in the Chicago sports scene. Even though the Bears are in real or de facto hibernation, other events abound. The Chicago Park District, for instance, hosts a holiday tournament in what sport?
A. Basketball
B. Hockey
C. 43-man squamish
D. Volleyball
19. Every year, Western Avenue becomes a river of Santa Claus-clad motorcycle riders during the Toys for Tots parade, sponsored by the United States:
A. Army
B. Navy
C. Air Force
D. Marine Corps
2O. One harbinger of the holiday season is the Chicago Bar Association’s annual satirical revue. This year’s production was named after a movie starring:
A. Arnold Schwarzenegger
B. Tom Cruise
C. Mel Gibson
D. Glenn Close
ANSWERS
1. A. Joffrey Ballet. The Hubbard Street Dance Company features modern interpretive dance. Ensemble Espanol, from Northeastern Illinois University, produces a flamenco Christmas celebration. The Richmond Street Dancers is a former Chicago street gang.
2. C. An American patriot with a wreath around his neck. Carson Pirie Scott’s windows show the Family Longears, rabbits including a papa dozing off after a good meal. Marshall Field’s portrays Ebenezer Scrooge in a Chicago setting. Saks Fifth Avenue has a statue of Prometheus sending a pigeon on his way. But Nathan Hale in front of Tribune Tower has no neck adornment — wreath, necktie or noose.
3. B. The, er, olfactorily stimulating prepared fish comes from Norway, or Norge as it is known by its residents, and not Shqiperi (Albania) Nippon (Japan), or Espana (Spain).
4. B. Juell (pronounced “Jewel”) Kadet, a jewelry store spokesperson, annually uses the jolly old elf as a foil.
5. C. At least since 1896. As Santa himself says in the ad, “After a hundred, who counts?”
6. D. Joe
7. C. Quadrupeds. The Anti-Cruelty Society held a do-it-yourself “Messiah” that included a number of adoptable canines, highlighted no doubt by the “howl-lelujah chorus.”
8. A. Sandy Duncan, perennially perky, stars in the Christmas show. Sandy Dennis won a best supporting actress Oscar for “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” Sandy Amoros, former Brooklyn Dodgers outfielder, is remembered only for making a great catch in the 1955 World Series. And don’t tell your kids, but there’s no such person as Sandy Clawse.
9. D. They met with all the success of the Edsel when introduced to the United States a few years ago. But were they that bad of a car? Yugo see for yourself.
10. B. Salvation Army
11. None of the above, of course. The colored lights are on the top of the John Hancock Center. Sears Tower’s red lights serve to keep away errant aircraft, not spread Christmas cheer.
12. D. Sauganash. O’Hare has multicolored and flashing lights, but these are displayed all year. West Rogers Park, the most predominantly Jewish neighborhood in the city, has fewer Christmas decorations than some other neighborhoods. And Beverly, on the southwest corner of the city, hardly qualifies as a Northwest Side neighborhood.
13. C. The Peanuts characters engaged in their activities to the background sounds of Guiraldi’s soothing music.
14. B. Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary performed at the presumably annual event. Bob Gibson, who died this year, may have attended in spirit but certainly not in body.
15. C. Buy a wreath. The Christkindmarkt is a German Christmas market, and while B and D are possible, buying a wreath is by far the most likely answer.
16. B. Jan. 6. Orthodox Christians celebrate the birthday of the King of Heaven on that date. On Jan. 3, of course, we all celebrate Alaska Statehood Day. Jan. 9 comemmorates Richard Nixon’s birthday (two days after that of fellow President Millard Fillmore). And Jan. 8 was the birthday of Elvis Presley — a different sort of “king.”
17. A. “Miracle on 34th Street.” Somehow, the story of the old gent who thinks he’s Santa escaped local treatment this year. “Gift of the Magi” was retold in a gay and lesbian context, and the retelling of “It’s a Wonderful Life” showed that the world really would be a better place if some people never existed. As for “A Christmas Carol” — too many updates and parodies to count.
18. A. The Chicago Park District’s three-on-three basketball tournament will be held Dec. 28 and 29. The 43-man squamish festival, a first for the city, is set for Feb. 29 and 30. (For details on these events, check with the Chicago Park District at 312-747-2200.)
19. D. The Marines sponsor the event, which traditionally ends at the Marines reserve headquarters on Foster Avenue.
20. D. Glenn Close. This year’s production carried the title “One Hundred and One Dull Motions.”
SCORING
– 18 to 20 correct: There are jolly colored lights all around, perhaps the snow covers the ground in a blanket of white, and a feeling of cheer floats over the land. But you don’t care, because you’re engrossed in trivia.
– 15 to 18 correct: It was said that Scrooge knew how to keep the holiday. If you did this well on the quiz, you’ve been keeping several of them.
– 12 to 14 correct: Either your local knowledge or guessing skills are reasonably good. If the latter, try your hand at Lotto.
– Under 12: Bah, humbug!
