Women who like to flirt, parents who want a prenup, couples who have everything in common and some that have nothing. These are some of the things you’ve been writing about.
Lisa: “I like innocent, light-hearted flirting because it’s fun. Too bad most males either misinterpret it as `take me I’m yours, you big stud muffin’ or they are so clueless that they don’t even know what’s happening.”
Holly: “George and I have been living together for almost six years. We have been very happy. Neither of us wants children and we have had a close to perfect relationship. But I have been getting a lot of flack from my parents to get married. I have always felt that there wasn’t much need for it. George has always been there for me and I trust him and our love with all my heart. But the pressure from my folks would not stop. George and I discussed it and decided we would get married to keep my family happy. We went out to dinner with my folks to tell them. My dad said, `It isn’t a good idea unless George signs a prenuptial agreement.’ (I have a sizable trust that stipulates I can use the interest only.) I was so shocked, we didn’t discuss it further. The whole reason we do not want to get married is that we do not need a legal piece of paper to say we will take care of one another for the rest of our lives. If I can’t trust him with my finances, how can I trust him with my love?”
Becky: “My husband is a big man. When I met him, he weighed between 175 and 185 pounds. In the 2 1/2 years we’ve been married, he’s put on 50 or 60 pounds. I know this may sound petty because I married him for the absolutely wonderful person that he is. So why am I having such a hang-up about his weight? I’m no Miss America. I don’t love him any less than the day I married him. If anything I love him more. The problem is physical attraction. A physical relationship plays a big part in a healthy, happy relationship and I don’t want to compromise on this. My husband and I have discussed it. At first he was hurt and defensive, but then we were able to talk civilly. He knows I’m concerned about his weight and he makes an effort to watch what he eats, which helps. I don’t want to come across as stuck-up. I just think that it’s important to look your best.”
Elizabeth: “When I met Steve, I realized we had a mutual interest in hiking. He was an avid triathlete and said if I’d enter a triathlon, he’d train me and even buy me running shoes. One of our first dates was biking in 32 degree weather. We trained all winter and spring and became very close. Steve proposed to me while we were checking out some triathlon gear stores. He said the fact I like to train and do races with him is one reason why he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We planned our wedding for a weekend when we did not have a triathlon so we wouldn’t interrupt our racing schedule.”
Sarah: “The only thing my husband and I have in common is our son and our love of hockey. The problem is, he only likes to watch it on TV. He hates to go anywhere. I, on the other hand, work out four or five days a week, play organized softball, and rollerblade or ice skate every day. I go to my son’s Little League games and take him to hockey practice and sporting events. I don’t even bother asking my husband if he wants to go with us anymore. Does it hurt our relationship? What relationship?”
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Did pregnancy force you into marriage? How did it work out? Send your tale to Cheryl Lavin, Tales from the Front, Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611. Please include day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part for any purpose and become the property of the column.
