If our 10 ideas for staying cool in ON THE GO seem too practical, don’t sweat it, we’ve got more.
Walk up to a girl carrying a cold drink. Say something crude.
Offer the Good Humor guy $5 if he’ll let you crawl in his freezer compartment for a couple of minutes.
Sit in front of a couple hundred Sox fans. Try to get them to do The Wave.
Approach a fountain where kids are playing. Suddenly scream, “I’ll save you!” and dive into the water. Drag a protesting child back to its parents, and say, “No need to thank me, ma’am. I’m just glad the little fella/gal is OK.” Smile gallantly.
Order a side of beef from your butcher, but insist on picking out the one you want. Stand in the walk-in cooler, pretending to decide. When you want to leave, tell the butcher, “I’ll get back to you.”
Stand behind an idling bus for a few minutes. When it pulls away, you’ll suddenly feel much cooler.
(Author is a professional smart aleck; please do not try this at home.)
