Dear Miss Manners – I am a horseback-riding instructor at summer camp, and I wear a cap with the stars and stripes printed on it to help the children and their parents find me faster.
We have “flagpole” every morning, during which we do announcements and say the Pledge of Allegiance, and my co-workers were totally offended when I didn’t remove my hat.
I was raised to believe that a lady does not remove her hat. I do understand that men remove their hats when they enter a room, in the presence of women and in the presence of our American flag, but a lady salutes by placing her right hand over her heart.
I have never removed a hat from my head for any reason, and no one had ever demanded that I do so. I am respecting their wishes for now, in spite of my own morals.
Gentle Reader – Indeed, ladies’ hats are not removed as a gesture of respect, as are gentlemen’s. But the hat in question here does not sound like a lady’s hat, not even a lady’s riding hat – which is a gentleman’s high silk hat or bowler, nevertheless sanctioned for ladies’ use at sport.
Why doesn’t Miss Manners confer that status on the riding cap she presumes you are wearing?
Because horsewomen have gone to a great deal of effort to take gender-specific rules out of the sport, so that they can ride astride, rather than sidesaddle, and compete as professional jockeys. You cannot accept the privileges of its being a unisex sport with unisex clothing, and then invoke a rule meant for ladies wearing ladies’ clothing.
Dear Miss Manners – As a justice of the peace, I see that weddings have gone from meaningful solemn ceremonies and nice tasteful receptions to sideshows with themes! Society has reached a new low.
Gentle Reader – Yes, but not without a lot of help.
In spite of the erroneous proclamation that a wedding belongs only to the couple being married, there is a third key person involved, whose views they cannot afford to ignore.
That is you. Miss Manners cannot understand why those empowered to officiate at weddings so seldom insist that the occasion be treated with enough dignity to demonstrate that the state of matrimony is not being contracted lightly.
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Send your questions to Miss Manners, in care of the Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611
