With warmer weather comes many problems and challenges, most of which we can deal with or take in stride–stormy weather, crabgrass, flies and other pests. But for anyone who has ever driven the roadways of greater Chicagoland, there are beasts so hideous, so feared I just shake thinking about them. It is the invasion of the ever-dreaded orange construction barrels!
These tyrants of the highways seem to come from nowhere. They breed faster than mosquitoes. There is no street, highway or even alley immune to their infestation.
We wake up one morning and find they have taken over our streets, snarling traffic, forcing vehicles to one side of the road or the other, or even worse, forcing us to drive miles out of our way just to find more of those terrible orange monsters waiting around the next bend. Once we have learned to drive through their hideous maze, they move through the night. The barrels with the flashing lights must be the platoon leaders, flashing signals to their troops. “At midnight, we attack the westbound lane.”
Such taskmasters, these ogres, as they order about their slaves, poor men and women in orange vests. They drive their subjects in all types of weather as they stand by laughing at their slaves working their fingers to the bone. Nothing affects these monsters–not heat, snow, cold or driving rain. Even if someone hits one by accident, it will bounce right back or another takes its place. Once they are through playing with us at one location, they move to another road to terrorize other unsuspecting travelers.
So as you drive to work, to the store, visit relatives or go on vacation, buckle yourself in, lock your doors and keep a lookout–over the next hill or around the next bend–for you never know when or where these dreaded orange beasts will strike.
