Q. My problem is that when my wife and I start petting, my penis gets about as large as it used to, but when it is time to have intercourse, it is not firm enough to penetrate. I am in my early 70s. I would be grateful for any information you could give me on my problem.
A. Let’s look on the positive side rather than the negative. First, you and your wife remain sexually active and your penis is as large as it used to be. I suggest that you get checked by a urologist, just to make sure there are no physical problems.
Then let’s examine what is happening. Could the problem be that your wife is not lubricating sufficiently? If that’s it, use a lubricant. Could it be that you do not know that at your age you need more physical stimulation to get an erection? That means you should both engage in more foreplay. It might also be a case of anticipatory anxiety, which means you had difficulties one time and now you worry about it each time you have sex. Read Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld’s “Male Sexuality” and try to adapt the information in there to your needs. If you are still having trouble, make an appointment with a sex therapist.
