Now that you have named the Bears quarterback, can you do something about the defensive line?
FUN GROUP
The Dallas Cowboys trashed their training camp dormitory in Austin on the final night of camp, causing perhaps as much as $10,000 worth of damage.
Water and the stench of urine pervaded the carpets and hallways, and the surveillance cameras installed by owner Jerry Jones to keep track of exactly these kinds of things were ripped out of the walls.
Said Jones: “I don’t think our activities were anything that would affect our image.”
No, at this point, the only thing that would affect the Cowboys’ image would involve a slow-moving white Bronco.
THE NICE ITEM
Muhammad Ali hit the Ivory Coast on a goodwill mission, bringing food and gifts to children of Liberian war refugees. Ali’s visit came in response to a letter-writing campaign by a Roman Catholic nun.
Despite suffering from Parkinson’s syndrome that slurs his speech and restricts his movement, Ali flew halfway around the world and shook hands and traded joke punches with scores of children who crowded around for the treat of a lifetime.
The Greatest, indeed.
ICON FOR SALE
Just in case you thought college football teams and schools and groups hadn’t completely prostituted everything, there’s this:
The Downtown Athletic Club has leased the image of the Heisman Trophy to a beer company. Indeed, Coors will run a “Name the Heisman Trophy Winner” contest.
So there you go, college football once again takes a silver bullet right between the eyes.
A GIMME
John Daly intends to play in the Greater Milwaukee Open.
Daly is a recovering alcoholic who said he never would play a tournament where he could “smell the breweries.”
Must be trying to win the Heisman Trophy.
THE MATCH GAME
David Faustino
Actor
“Married…With Children”
Bob Mlicki
Mets Pitcher
“Losing…With Rojas.”
