I am trying to explain baseball realignment to a gardener.
. . . and what that means is the Cubs and the White Sox will be playing each other much more often.
“Is that a good thing?”
Sure it is.
Look at this summer. The series between the Cubs and Sox was the biggest thing that happened in baseball in this town. Filled Comiskey Park all the way to the top. People are still talking about it.
“I must have been weeding.”
Realignment, can’t you see, would put the Cubs and the Sox in the same division, in the same league, on the same field.
“Combining two half-wits to make a whole wit.”
Huh?
“So baseball would be, what? Our local pastime?”
That’s just the tip of the asparagus, so to speak, just a preview of what is possible, not just interleague play, but new leagues all around. Bring baseball into the 21st Century.
“What’s the hurry? What is this, some kind of millenium panic? If they don’t do something now, they have to wait another 100 years.” No, no. It’s just that the time is right. Baseball can do anything it wants to because nobody is watching right now. Once people start paying attention again, caring about baseball again, it will be too late. This is for everyone’s own good.
“The last time baseball did anything for anyone’s good but its own, Marge Schott was a debutante. Now, that’s a picture.”
Try to follow this please. Baseball expanded into Arizona and into another part of Florida, and these new teams are going to play next year. They need to be scheduled. Arizona was to be in the National League West and Tampa in the American League East.
“More or less by time zone, I see. That makes sense.”
Sure, but it won’t work. The addition is all wrong. There would be six teams in the AL East and just four in the AL West. So, somebody has to move.
“How about Detroit? Nobody would miss Detroit.”
That’s what they wanted to do, move Detroit to the AL Central, except you’d have six and four again. Somebody has to go west.
“So, Tampa’s new zip code is 90210?”
Not yet. Kansas City was supposed to move. The only problem is, Kansas City doesn’t want to go.
“You are trying to tell me that rather than make one team unhappy, baseball has decided to move everybody, tear up everything, make everybody unhappy.”
I see you do understand baseball.
“Casey Stengel once told his team to line up alphabetically according to size. Maybe they’ll try that next.”
No, what they are going to do is take this opportunity to redesign baseball, or they were going to until the Cubs objected. Now they are thinking it over.
“Somebody listens to the Cubs?”
The Cubs stand four-square for tradition and against the designated hitter.
“And last in the worst division in baseball.”
That’s not the problem. The big problem is that with 15 teams in each league, there will have to be an odd team off every day.
“Cubs again, huh?”
No, the way the uneven number of teams thing is solved is with interleague play, and that’s what I was saying at the start. Why not make it easy and interesting? Cubs-Sox, Giants-A’s, Dodgers-Angels, Yankees-Mets, natural rivalries enhanced by being in the same division.
“All of this because baseball can’t divide by two? Why not 16 teams in one league and 14 teams in the other?”
That’s another plan. There is more than one plan. There’s the radical realignment plan. There is a moderate realignment plan and a who-cares-about-Kansas City-anyhow plan, one of which is going to have to be chosen soon.
“Or what, Bud Selig is hold his breath and stomp his feet?”
You are missing the message. The idea is that baseball could use a good shaking up. It’s time to move things around, create excitement, make new rivalries.
“Here’s what they’re going to go. They’re going to shake it until they break it.”
There’s no talking to some people.
