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If you want to know about the child-care dilemma in this country, talk to Wanda Rossi of Providence, R.I.

Rossi is recently divorced, and works 72 hours a week to make ends meet. She works at the Providence Police Department and, to supplement her income, tends bar at night.

Rossi brings home $19,000 a year and spends $9,000 annually on child care. She is about to embark on a new career in nursing, in hopes that it will help her make more money and enable her to spend more time with her two sons.

“I’d love some type of legislation or child-care subsidy,” she says. “I make decent money, but after deductions and child-care expenses I’m at the poverty line.”

Parents all over the United States are looking for something increasingly hard to find: quality care for their children. A 1996 survey by the Department of Labor’s Women’s Bureau found that 56 percent of working women with children under 5 said finding affordable child care was a serious problem.

Instead, parents usually find wait lists, exorbitant fees and, in many cases, mediocre care. Government help is often unavailable, and when it is available, it’s hit-or-miss at best.

But there are still ways to find the right kind of care for your child.

Start your search by asking other parents, friends and co-workers, who can be a wealth of information. Look through community parent publications. Also, check your area Yellow Pages under “Day Care.” Local and state human resources administrations often have day-care directories. Check the white pages of your phone book.

Finding child-care facilities is only the beginning, though. Remember that child-care policies are regulated from state to state, so credentials and licensing vary widely.

Social services and child-care agencies keep current regulatory and licensing status on file. Check for complaints, accidents or closures. The National Academy of Early Childhood Programs, at 800-424-2460, has a free list of accredited centers grouped by state.

You may also feel limited by price, but many facilities offer assistance in that area, so don’t be afraid to ask.

“We offer sliding fees that help make child care more affordable for all families,” says Mary Tomaszycki, lead teacher at the Cambridge (Mass.) Head Start day-care center.

Child care is available in a variety of settings, from your own home to community centers and more. Deciding which kind of setting seems right for your child can help you narrow your options.

– Caregiver’s home. The provider may be a parent with an assistant or two. Local municipalities should regulate the numbers and ages of children permitted in family care.

– In-home care. The caregiver comes to your house, a more personal but sometimes costly option. Some families cut costs by having the provider care for two children simultaneously. Such providers are not licensed.

– Center-based or on-site child-care facilities. Sometimes called nursery school or preschool, these may be church-affiliated, non-profit or private, and require licensing. Philosophy and size vary. The fastest-growing option in the country, they can be on- or off-site.

– Cooperative child care. Co-ops are formed when several families or groups get together and start a preschool in an established site, such as a church. They are parent-driven, licensed locally and cost-effective, but usually they are not full-time. Parents take turns volunteering, usually 10 hours a week, and meet once a month to discuss administrative and educational issues in the preschool.

– Elementary schools. These can include before-school and after-school programs and busing–convenient for parents with extended hours.

Parents often assume providers are good at what they do. But that faith isn’t always deserved, according to a recent study by child psychologists and economists from five major universities.

The survey found that most child-care situations provide poor to mediocre care, and in one in every eight of these centers health and safety were not assured.

One key issue is employee turnover. Low wages and lack of benefits cause high turnover rates in most centers. Ask about this. Make sure the people you approve will be the same ones watching your child.

Finally, speak out. If you have concerns about your child-care situation, voice them to your provider and to other parents.

Just as you would not take safety for granted in your home, don’t take it for granted in a child-care center. Some questions you might want to ask when weighing a particular center’s situation are: Do caregivers have references? What about special training in child development and education? When did the day-care center last have an inspection? Do children and visitors sign in and out? What is the ratio of adults to children?

Finally, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right about a day-care center, walk away.

SHOPPING FOR CHILD CARE

– The National Association for the Education of Young Children has a national accreditation system for child-care centers. It can provide a list of accredited day-care centers in your state. Call 800-424-2460.

– The National Association for Family Child Care also has listings. Call 800-359-3817.

– The Labor Department’s Women’s Bureau offers a free publication, “Care Around The Clock: Develop Child-Care Resources Before 9 and After 5.” Call 800-827-5335.

– The In-Home Child Care Resource Guide is available free to families and caregivers. Call 800-ME4-NANNY.

– Child Care Bulletin is published by the National Child Care Information Center, which also makes available current research from other child-care publications. Call 800-616-2242.

– The Child Care Action Campaign is a national coalition that supports the development of policies to increase the availability of quality, affordable child care. It has materials to help parents find quality care and help small businesses establish child-care-assistance programs for employees. Call 212-239-0138.

– The Child Care Law Center provides legal assistance and information to parents and child-care providers. Call 415-495-5498.

– There are more than 400 referral agencies around the country ready to serve you and your family. Many connect low-income households to state or federally funded programs such as Head Start. The National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, a Washington-based non-profit organization, offers statewide referrals. Call NACCRRA at 800-424-2246.