If all you can think about your Florida Keys trip is “Wasting away in Margaritaville,” then you need to read this story. There are many other things to think about in preparation of a Keys vacation than where to buy your first and last drink. You don’t need to lose sight of tropical paradise, but it doesn’t hurt to iron out a few details before you leave.
– Bed tax: In addition the regular hotel rates, the local government tacks on an additional 11.5 percent. For example, if you’re staying in a room that costs $80 per night, you’ll actually pay $89.20 per night when the bill comes. The additional money can make a lot of difference to your budget.
– No real beaches: Well, not really, with the exception of Bahia Honda State Park in the Middle Keys. Many people come to the Keys expecting the wide, sandy beaches that are common on the east and west coasts of Florida. And they’re surprised. Bahia Honda has a nice, narrow strip of sandy beach, but most of the “beaches” you’ll find down here are small swatches of trucked-in sand next to a seawall, or a rocky spit of land next to the water. That’s not to say it’s unattractive. The waters next to the seawalls are fine for swimming and fishing, and the sun is the same, whether you’re on a real beach or a deck.
– The sun: And speaking of the sun, don’t overdo it. Start slow, using a sunscreen, limiting your exposure, and avoiding the most intense part of the day, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
– The water: Don’t do as I have done. Don’t go out on a snorkeling trip when the seas are rough. If you have leanings toward seasickness, even on moderate days, it’s a good idea to take Dramamine at least 30 minutes or Triptone the night before stepping aboard a boat. P.S.: This also goes for fishing trips.
– A marker for every mile: The Florida Keys has one main street: the Overseas Highway. And this highway is lined with short signs with numbers, Mile Markers. Locals use these Mile Markers as addresses, and visitors quickly learn the ropes. For example if you ask, “Where is the Dolphins Plus?” The answer is, “At Mile Marker 99.5, Oceanside, Key Largo.” Right away, you know it’s between Mile Markers 99 and 100 and on the east side of the street. So easy!
– Are we there yet?: Once you drive over the Card Sound bridge or enter Key Largo from U.S. 1, you’re officially in the Keys. What many people don’t realize is that it’s at least two more hours of driving before Key West is on the horizon. Key West is where the Overseas Highway starts at Mile Marker 0. At the top of the Keys, in Key Largo, the Mile Markers top out at around 110.
– Dolphin versus Flipper: Don’t be alarmed when you look at a Keys restaurant menu and see “dolphin” as a choice. It’s not Flipper that’s being served, but a fish — a tasty fish. Flipper, of ’60s television fame, is actually an Atlantic bottlenose dolphin, a mammal and unrelated to the delectable fish.
– Sunrise, oceanside; sunset, bayside: For those who won’t settle for anything but a waterfront view of the sunset, remember this: bayside. The Keys are a narrow chain of islands, so it’s feasible to get up early and watch the sun rise over the ocean, then walk over to the opposite side of the island, and watch the sun set over the bay. Many hotels and motels offer waterfront rooms, but only bayside establishments can guarantee a view of the sunset.
So there you have it. Get back to your thoughts of an ice-cold margarita (no salt, please) and the warm tropical breezes. Have a great time, and don’t forget to send a postcard.
