I’ll take Single Adjectives That Best Describe The Bears’ Football Season So Far, Alex.
Typical. Comical. Futile. Dreadful.
“Redundant,” said Bryan Cox.
No help from the linebackers. And remember to put the answer in the form of a question.
What is Fabien Bownes?
Not to pick on the young man. Not to notice he is even a Bear unless you are slapping your forehead, spitting up your soft drink and asking who is the idiot stepping out of bounds on fourth down to stop the clock. That would have to be a Bear. That would be Mr. Bownes.
“I knew where the first down was,” Bownes said.
Nothing says careless like a foolish confession.
“Inexperience,” said Dave Wannstedt.
Ah, another contestant, Alex. Did the coach buzz in?
Pitiful. Feeble. Meager. Peculiar.
Did the Vikings really have their choice of two penalties called on Bears cornerback Walt Harris in their game-winning drive? Does a Bear get lost in the Minnesota woods?
“You seen it as clear as I did,” Wannstedt said.
Seen it better, probably. Harris did, indeed, interfere with Cris Carter. Held him, too. Your choice, captain. First and goal, Vikings. Bears lose, Bears lose, 29-22.
“Well,” Wannstedt said, “we got a chance to see a lot of people play.”
For a full 27 minutes of the second half of a game the Bears refused to concede, everything the Bear season might have been seemed entirely and reasonably possible.
The offense was resilient and resourceful, the defense was determined and fierce and even the usually blamable punter Todd Sauerbrun was not only doing his first job well, but brought us a candidate for play of the game when he pulled a high center snap into a perfect hold for Jeff Jaeger’s lead-taking field goal.
And then, and then . . .
“I guess,” Cox said, “the Vikings’ 2-minute offense is better than our 2-minute defense. For the second time in a row.”
This close loss was not accepted with the same enthusiasm as the “go-for-two” loss to Green Bay was, not even as resignedly as the rout by Washington was. This one was resented.
Linebacker Barry Minter will take Moral Victories Bite It, Alex.
“Playing hard, giving effort, that’s expected,” said Minter said. “We’ve got to get some wins!
“There is just so much talent on this team, so much ability. We’ve played so hard against so many teams so well. We give some, we get some and we always come out on the short end!”
Losing should hurt. How bad does it hurt?
“Not as bad as child abuse or a woman who gets beaten by her husband,” Cox said. “It makes Sunday night miserable. It makes your off day miserable.
“Me, I’m going home, hug up to a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and come back to work tomorrow. Then I plan to go back to work on Wednesday with my head up.”
Hopeful. Encouraged. Stubborn. Defiant.
Quarterback Erik Kramer will take Movie Titles To Inspire The Bears, Alex.
“I look at it like the movie `Braveheart,’ ” Kramer said. “The odds are stacked against us. Every week we show up and pick a fight. Nobody is going to shudder when we walk into a building. We have to go out there and bloody some noses. We have to get some respect. We have to prove we are worth respecting.”
For those who did not see “Braveheart,” it was about a bunch of guys in short skirts who got so frustrated at being outmanned that the whole bunch of them bent over, raised their garments and mooned the enemy.
Hey, it couldn’t hurt.
