“Sit down with your wife and say something like this, `Honey, I’ve made a terrible mistake. I’ve given you my role. I gave up leading this family, and I forced you to take my place. Now I must reclaim that role.’ I’m not suggesting you ask for your role back, I’m urging you to take it back. . . . There can be no compromise here. If you’re going to lead, you must lead. . . . Treat the lady gently and lovingly, but lead!” proclaims Tony Evans, popular author and speaker for the Promise Keepers, commonly known as PK.
The PK are not PC.
Founded in 1990 by former college football coach Bill McCartney, the Promise Keepers is a non-profit, all-male group based in Christian churches. Partly through signature stadium rallies that are Super Bowl and revival meeting rolled into one, at a cost of $50 to $60 per person, the group has recruited new members and raised money at an accelerating rate, reaching an estimated 2 million followers and 1997 budget of $117 million.
On Oct. 4, the Promise Keepers held their first national rally and biggest event ever, “Stand in the Gap,” in Washington. Between 480,000 and 710,000 men from around the country converged on the nation’s capital for a day of personal repentance and a six-hour program of prayer, song and at least 40 speakers.
Women, as well as other groups, are troubled about PK goals and methods. PK leadership preaches that wives should “submit” to husbands, that gays should become heterosexual, that Christianity is the only true religion and that Uncle Tom is a good role model for African Americans.
Some groups opposed to the Promise Keepers held a counter demonstration and press conference across the street from the PK rally. A narrow band of street separated the several hundred people at the counter rally from the women who came to support the PK.
“I’m a divorced mother of an 18-year-old daughter,” Carol Donahue said, “and I pray to God she finds a promise keeper, not a promise breaker.”
Another PK supporter, Donna Osborne, came from Texas for the rally. “My husband went to his first PK rally about four years ago and has become a more loving, considerate person. They (the critics) misunderstand the situation here. If they were to come to know the Lord, things would be different. I feel sorry for them because they have misinformation.”
But across the street, law student “Cat” Flanagan was worried about misinformation on the other side. “I had to come here because silence is acceptance. We need to create awareness of what PK leadership is about.”
“I think the PK is an overtly political group that is thinly disguising its true intention, which is to make everybody just like them, and they have no tolerance for those that are not just like them,” said Wayne Besen, another counter-demonstrator. “This is not the kind of America we want to live in. We do not want this to become the Christian version of Iran.”
Nearby, Caroline Karcher had a similar view. “The idea of a group organizing to roll back women’s gains is very frightening. I believe this country was founded on the principles of separation of church and state. They’re trying to impose evangelical Christianity on the entire nation.”
One woman, who didn’t want to be identified, quipped, “PK is going to do more for the women’s movement than NOW or any other organization.”
Eleanor Smeal, president of the Feminist Majority, spoke at the counter rally and offered this advice for women. “Read about the PK. If your husband is involved, ask to see their written material. Ask questions. They should know what’s going on. Urge your husbands to ask questions so they see the whole picture. We’re saying beware. On the surface, this sounds like a good deal. They’re going to do the diapers. That’s great! We’ve been urging that household work be shared for as long as I can remember. What price is being put on that diaper? What is this really about?”
In late 1996, the Feminist Majority began networking with other women’s groups, including the National Organization for Women, and with religious and liberal groups to research the Promise Keepers’ agenda and to develop a coordinated response. Equal Partners in Faith, whose goal is to build opposition to the PK within religious communities, evolved from this effort. Some pastors urged men in their congregations not to participate in the PK rally because its affiliation with the religious Right and its call for the submission of women.
The Promise Keepers now encounter opposition in nearly every city where they stage a rally, which they do five or six times a year. The Washington Post reported that McCartney wrote a letter to members about the opposition facing the national rally from “liberal women’s groups, atheists, Satanists and others.”
A major area of concern to the opposition is the large amount of money the PK has at its disposal, who it comes from, where it goes and how it’s reported. In 1995, the Promise Keepers set aside $2.5 million to establish the PK Foundation, which gave away more than $1.1 million to “Christ-centered ministries” last year. The PK is big business, with merchandising of books, shirts, hats, pins, cassettes, CDs and other souvenirs. Critics are concerned with the large amount of money donated to the Promise Keepers by Christian Right groups, such as Focus on the Family, Christian Coalition and the 700 Club.
“The PK is hiding under the mask of religion,” Smeal said. “Because they’re not electoral, they don’t have to reveal their supports like other organizations do.”
Another PK practice that many people find disturbing is what the group calls shepherding or discipleship, in which a member submits to a leader. The Center for Democracy Studies, a 1-year-old research organization funded by the liberal Nation magazine, has made the Promise Keepers its first project. It describes the Promise Keepers’ “accountability groups,” which consist of a small number of members and where men are expected to submit all aspects of their lives to review and rebuke and must answer any probes concerning marriage, family, finances, sexuality or business activity. These groups usually operate within a church group and are led by a “point man” who answers to an “ambassador.” Each “ambassador” reports to the headquarters in Boulder, Colo., the center said.
A third area of concern is the group’s assertion that it does not have a political agenda. The Center for Democracy Studies reported: “Promise Keepers is a major effort by the leadership of well-financed religious conservative organizations to create a new men-only movement to promote their social and political agenda. The PK organization represents the `third wave’ of the religious Right’s political development . . . the first wave being (Jerry) Falwell’s fundamentalist-led Moral Majority . . . and the second wave being (Pat) Robertson’s charismatic-led Christian Coalition. What distinguishes PK from the prior waves is its organizational prowess, theological extremism, and the extent to which it wants to comprehensively restructure America’s social order.”
Smeal also saw political ramifications. “This gathering in D.C., the nation’s capital, is a political message. This is a decision to go visible, very visible. It’s meant to send a message to the nation. Remember, McCartney’s talking about spiritual warfare and about taking this nation for Christ and to establish the Old Testament. What does he mean when he says `Taking this nation for Christ’? These are folks that have been arguing against separation of church and state.”
Many individual PK members seemed unaware of criticisms of the leadership.
David Beck of Fredericksburg, Va., remarked, “I haven’t researched the Promise Keepers and this is my third event. We’re just a group of men whose ideals of peace and family responsibility are the same. Maybe there is a political agenda, but I haven’t seen it. There’s nothing about a political agenda in all the mail, books or materials I get from PK. Show me the beef. Where is the political agenda?”
A number of participants in the PK rally were reluctant to talk to a female reporter representing the “liberal” media. Some agreed to interviews if their full names were not given.
Jeff from New Mexico said, “Promise Keepers is not political. NOW isn’t offering any solutions. They don’t understand Christ is the solution. We won’t compromise. You cannot argue with the truth.”
The Washington rally was the first event for Jamie, who lives there. “We have to put our families back together. The PK wants us to go back to the church; they’re not trying to take away from the collection plate. When you see that many men coming together in prayer, it hopefully bodes well for the future.”
The rally was barely over when the PK leadership made several announcements about future plans, including an effort to go global after meeting with representatives from 62 countries. They also revealed plans for simultaneous rallies in every state capital in the year 2000 and announced they would not be charging admission to rallies for the next two years.
