When Peggy Golliher picked up her daughter, Jill, from dance class, Jill often would mention her friend Valerie.
Sometimes Golliher would bump into Valerie’s mother, and the two would exchange small talk.
One day, the small talk revealed a major discovery: The two families had lived in the same neighborhood in Sharonville, Ohio. After that, their friendship blossomed.
About a year later, they were discussing Valerie’s baptism when her mother, Peggy Lundberg, asked Golliher to be Valerie’s godmother.
“It said to me that my friend thought I’m such a valuable human being that they would entrust me with her child’s Christian education,” said Golliher, 56, a teller with SunTrust in Orlando.
That was about 20 years ago. Golliher stood with Valerie during her confirmation at St. Michael’s Roman Catholic Church in Sharonville and has stood by her godchild ever since.
Godparents such as Golliher are valuable members of a child’s extended family because they are another source of counsel, companionship, support and love.
“Godparenting is nothing if it’s not a genuine human relationship of appreciation and care,” writes Elaine Ramshaw in “The Godparent Book” (Liturgy Training Publications, $8.95). “If your face lights up whenever you see your godchild, if you take seriously the child’s thoughts and feelings, then you may receive the greatest gift of the child’s trust and friendship in return.”
Interestingly, godparenting might be the least understood job going, clouded by religious and secular interpretations. For Catholics, the selection of a godparent is more than a social nicety to honor relatives or friends.
“The implied meaning is that they (godparents) will walk with this person in faith through life,” said Rev. Bob Webster, director of liturgy for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Orlando. “That is why it is important that people choose well.”
Religious experts generally agree that godparents are expected to:
– Stand with the godchild at religious ceremonies or rituals.
– Remind the child that he or she is baptized.
– Maintain a lifelong interest in the spiritual life and religious education of the godchild (this can be accomplished by daily prayer for the godchild and his or her family, regular contact through letters and visits, and gifts of age-appropriate religious books and music.
– Be available to the godchild, as representatives of their faith, for counsel, encouragement and companionship.
Others use the term when they ask adults to care for their children in case of calamity. From that grows a common misunderstanding: equating godparenthood with legal guardianship in the event of the parents’ death. That is the case only when the decision is made explicit in a will.
Outside of the responsibilities spelled out by religious tradition or in legal documents, it is up to the godparent and godchild to define the relationship. For some, the relationship assumes the almost conspiratorial fun-filled nature that grandchildren and grandparents share.
Joe and Jennifer Dalton were at their Wednesday night Bible study when in walked a young couple they had never seen.
Later that night, the Daltons learned the couple, Jerry and Tammi Meyer, were expecting their first child. Children are a wonderful thing, the Daltons assured. They had three of their own.
Over the course of several weeks, the Meyers and Daltons became friends. Then, unexpectedly, the Meyers popped the question to the Daltons: Would you be our child’s godparents?
“We were thrilled,” said Joe, 53, who owns a carpet cleaning service in Longwood, Fla.
For the Daltons, Rebecca Meyer, now 14, was their first turn at being godparents. Woody and Billie Hicks met the Daltons at Community United Methodist in Casselberry, Fla., five years ago. Their daughter Morgan, 17, choose them from a list of potential godparents that her parents worked up. The Daltons also met Rick and Gina Pughe at church, and the couple asked the Daltons to be godparents to their son Chad, 8.
Although the Daltons were involved with their own children — Joe III, Wendy and Jason — they were conscientious about making time for their godchildren.
For years, the Daltons have treated their godchildren to a personalized fun day, which means dining at the Olive Garden and a day at the mall for the girls. Chad’s day is the Olive Garden and a trip to Toys R Us.
