Cole Porter in his swaddling clothes was a more creative lyricist than whoever wrote “Barbie Girl” for the Danish pop group Aqua. But if the shrieks of North Texas kids are any sign, the pre-K crowd disagrees.
In validating a song meant to be sardonic–a song that has already drawn a lawsuit from Mattel, Barbie’s manufacturer–the kids have evidently settled on a new anthem for tot couture. Here are some of the lyrics: “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world/Life in plastic, it’s fantastic/You can brush my hair/Undress me everywhere/Imagination, life is your creation/(Enter Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken) Kiss me here, touch me there/Hanky-panky.”
The controversy began several weeks ago at football games for little boys sponsored by The Colony Youth Football Association in the Dallas-Fort Worth suburb of The Colony. From the first game, the parents of players on opposing teams began complaining about little girls ages 4-7 performing pompom routines to the lyrics of “Barbie Girl.”
As the brouhaha over the Lady Eagles’ routine spread to radio call-in shows, newspapers, tabloid TV and even ABC’s “World News Tonight,” disc jockeys at a local radio station tried to save the day. Volunteering their time for the tots, they spent several hours digitally deleting the lustful Ken’s offending words. But the doyennes of cheerleading–led by Lady Eagles coach Dianna Timmons–ultimately refused the product. It came too late to have the kids adjust to new pompom cues in time for an upcoming competition, she said.
Cheerleading and female drill teams are big in Texas. England and a handful of other European countries may have their queens, but Texas has the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, the Kilgore Rangerettes and the Apache Belles from Tyler.
In Houston a few years ago, a high school cheerleader’s mom put out a contract on the mother of her daughter’s main cheerleading rival. Nothing personal. Dear old mom just felt that if the rival were to be sufficiently discombobulated prior to an upcoming competition, drastic measures were needed.
In The Colony, the Barbierians are insisting that the song’s lyrics are “just about Barbie.” But that seems evasive to the anti-Barbierians, who are more bothered by Ken’s lyrics. “Kiss me here, touch me there/Hanky-panky,” indeed.
Barbie’s swain may have spent a little too much time listening to Mick Jagger, and not enough time listening to Cole Porter. Given Barbie’s terminal cluelessness, one shudders to contemplate the scorn Dan Quayle might soon have cause to heap on her should Ken prevail.
Getting down to the nitty-gritty, Lady Eagles mom Lesa Parrish bristles at the charge of being an overeager stage mom. She and the other mothers would never knowingly parade their daughters and put them in danger. But that leaves the question of whether they are unknowingly putting them in danger. Raising the possibility of a certain tone-deafness to the issue of evil lurking behind the stands is justified.
In recent years, North Texas has gone through enormous grief over the kidnapping, sexual assaults and murders of very young girls, including Ashley Estell and Amber Hagerman. The controversy over “Barbie Girl” could be about far more than age-appropriate lyrics.
If two young children who were not dancing to suggestive lyrics as cheerleaders could catch the eye of a sexual pervert, what are the odds of little girls who are emulating older and sexier cheerleaders coming into evil sights?
How long will it be before Candice Bergen, Dan Quayle, Robert Bork, William Bennett and Camille Paglia are called in to stake out the polarities in this debate? Only Ted Koppel knows for sure. Yet before the culture referees step in, how about asking some common-sense questions?
Should moms live their lives through their little girls? Should little girls perform to the sound of highly suggestive lyrics? I think not, and a society that has 4-to-7-year-old girls publicly playing the role of high school, college and adult cheerleaders should stand back and reflect.
If it used to be said that children should be seen and not heard, it was for very good reasons. And in the case of very young girls, one of those reasons is that in a world full of Kens, the promotion of modesty can enhance the enjoyment of life, rather than limit or even end it.
