Until last year, “Bill,” a 14-year-old Chicago boy, was a bed-wetter.
For as far back as he can remember, Bill (not his real name) would “wake up wet almost every night,” he says. “When it was cold out, I was cold. And in the morning I would always smell.”
He became an expert at making up excuses for why he couldn’t spend the night at a friend’s. “I would say, like, that my parents wouldn’t let me or that I was grounded,” he recalls.
There are 5 million to 7 million American kids like Bill, who are affected by “nocturnal enuresis,” or bed-wetting. Most of them are boys. And most are reluctant to talk about their problem out of shame or fear of being teased.
“The humiliation of bed-wetting and what it does to kids’ social development is considerable,” says Dr. Lori Semel, a New York pediatrician. “They can’t sleep over at friends’. Often, they feel like outcasts.”
But does it have to be this way? And can what you don’t know about enuresis hurt bed-wetters?
Dr. Alan Greene, a California pediatrician, says widely held misconceptions about enuresis lead others to tease and unfairly blame wetters for their problems. Yet, like asthmatics or diabetics, the source of bed-wetters’ problems is physical. It’s not a control problem.
The latest research indicates that bed-wetters lack a hormone that regulates urine production. Heredity also plays a role. The National Kidney Foundation reports that if both parents were bed-wetters, chances are their kids will be too.
Greene says it’s vitally important to educate kids about the causes of bed-wetting to lift the cover of silence and shame.
Although time is the only sure cure almost all kids outgrow bed-wetting Greene says that there are some good, effective treatments available until they do. Because outgrowing a bed-wetting problem can take years, waiting is not a compassionate option.
“These kids deserve better. They deserve help,” Greene says.
But kids often don’t get that help because, surprisingly, many parents are among those still in the dark.
In a 1996 National Kidney Foundation survey of 9,000 parents, half said that bed-wetting is caused by drinking too many fluids before bedtime; a fourth said they punish their kids for bed-wetting; and two-thirds said they do nothing and assume their kids will outgrow it.
Wrong, wrong and wrong, Greene says. Though drinking fluids before bedtime can contribute to bed-wetting, it doesn’t cause it. And since kids can’t control bed-wetting, “punishment only makes the problem worse,” he says. Finally, studies show that each year only 10 percent to 15 percent of bed-wetters outgrow their problem.
The best treatment until a child outgrows a bed-wetting problem seems to be a nose spray called DDAVP, Semel says. When inhaled at bedtime, it curbs urine production.
Bill used DDAVP for several months last year. During that time, his bed-wetting stopped. Even when he went off the drug he stayed dry.
“I was really happy,” Bill says. “I could do more stuff, hang out with my friends more, spend the night at their houses.”
Ten-year-old “John” (not his real name) also had success with DDAVP. “To be able to wake up every day and not be wet was great,” he says.
But a lot of kids aren’t as lucky as Bill and John, Semel says. Some don’t respond immediately to treatment, and others go untreated because of their parents’ misconceptions. All these kids could end up struggling with feelings of inadequacy and shame.
Bill’s advice to such kids: “Don’t be ashamed of something that’s not your fault. Tell your parents what’s going on and how it makes you feel.”
Adds John: “Remember, you’re not alone.”
