Gifts, gatherings, cocktail parties, brunches, more gifts, dinner parties–all the trappings of the holiday season can make your head spin, and not just from all the endowments and affairs. Thank you’s” are in order for all those goodies and good times, adding even more activity to already busy schedules.
What’s required when it comes to thanking?
Here’s some advice from the experts:
GIFTS
Do: “Acknowledge gifts with a handwritten note in every instance,” says Nancy Tuckerman, co-author of a newly updated version of “The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette” (Doubleday, $32). Personal stationery is best, but Tuckerman also uses postcards from museums with beautiful pictures on the front (“They’re small,” she notes, “so you can easily fill them up”) then slips them in envelopes. Without an envelope is not appropriate because it’s not personal enough, she says.
Don’t: Do not “use preprinted thank-you cards,” says Tuckerman. “I’d rather get nothing than a card that says it for you.” E-mail and faxes also are unsuitable.
Exceptions: Thank-you notes to good friends can be incorporated into long chatty notes, and in this case the computer is OK, Tuckerman says. And it’s OK to call your siblings instead of writing, she adds, admitting to always calling her own sister. As for e-mail, Peggy Post, author of “Emily Post’s Etiquette 75th Anniversary” (Harper Collins, $35) points out that “if that’s the only way you’re going to get a teen or child to write a note,” go for it.
Hostess gifts
Do: Call to thank someone for flowers, candy or other tokens sent as thanks for a dinner party or some other occasion, Tuckerman says. Tokens that are brought with guests can be acknowledged with thanks on the spot.
Don’t: Tuckerman says it’s not necessary to bring something to every dinner or cocktail party, unless you’re the guest of honor.
Repasts
Do: It’s nice to send flowers before the party if you’re the guest of honor.
Don’t: Do not neglect to call and thank hosts for the meal or party.
Words of wisdom
“Don’t procrastinate,” says Tuckerman, or the task gets out of hand and the giver wonders whether you received the gift. It also looks like you didn’t or don’t care for the item or person who gave it when you don’t respond immediately, she notes.
