Congratulations, fellow procrastinators.
Once again our do-it-tomorrow approach has paid off big time. Only this time, thousands of our less fortunate brothers and sisters across Chicagoland can benefit from our, well, deliberate way of doing things.
Now, the big announcement: (drum roll here)
Starting today, Dec. 22, your entire contribution to the Chicago Tribune Holiday Fund will be matched dollar-for-dollar by the McCormick Tribune Foundation. You write a check for $50 or $100 and the foundation automatically kicks in an equal amount.
Up until today, the foundation matched only the contributions of first-time givers, or additional year-over-year contributions from veteran givers. (Yes, dear reader, they do keep track of these things on a computer.)
So eat your hearts out, you jack rabbits. Once again your shop-early, mail-early habits–the ones your misguided parents and teachers instilled in you at an early age–have gone for naught. Once again the early birds get the worms while we Johnny-come-latelys clean up on the apples. (Or some other such mixed metaphor.) When are you early people going to wise up? Especially when it comes to the holiday season, when we procrastinators have known for a long time that it pays to wait until the last minute.
Figure it out for yourself. The stores stock and decorate for Christmas the day after Halloween. By the week before Christmas the herd has been stampeding for almost two months. Most people are shopped out, spent out and stressed out about their Visa limit. This is when procrastinators pounce, stalking the empty aisles like the savvy predators we are. The selection isn’t so great, but there are those Christmas Eve close-outs. And hey, it beats elbowing somebody on the day after Thanksgiving to get the last Sleep and Snore Ernie.
Then there’s the mail thing. Ask any postal worker and he or she will tell you, when management isn’t listening, that the last 48 hours before Christmas Day are a breeze. The crunch comes during the second week of December, when the jack rabbits mail. That’s why, as of this writing, the McCarron family has yet to mail a single card. My wife says I’m cutting it too close this year, but she’s a recovering jack rabbit with much to learn. If it turns out she’s right, well, Happy New Year!
As for that dollar-for-dollar Chicago Tribune Holiday Fund deal, don’t think you have to be a procrastinator to take advantage. Even if you’ve already sent us a check for the same amount as last year, thereby missing out on the match, send us another and the Holiday Fund will get the extra kick. Take your time. You’ve still got nine days to claim a charitable gift deduction from your 1997 taxable income. For their part, incurable jack rabbits can send us a check dated Jan. 1, 1998, thereby qualifying for the full match and a tax deduction for next year.
No matter how you proceed, be assured this is the best, most cost-efficient holiday charity there is. Every last penny you give, plus the foundation match, goes to fund social service organizations with proven records in fighting poverty, homelessness, hunger and developmental disabilities.
Now, time to pounce. Cut out the coupon provided below and use it to send the holiday fund a fat check. No hurry, of course, but now is the moment to take advantage of the pre-Christmas/pre-Chanukah lull.
And by the way, thanks for waiting.
