Women think when guys get together, all they ever talk about is sports. Or cars. Or who makes more money. Or who’s hotter, Jenny McCarthy or Pamela Lee. Women never think guys sit around hashing out their problems. But they do.
Scott was meeting his friend Don for dinner. They were longtime good pals who got together often to discuss real stuff on their minds, the stuff that was bothering them. On this night, it took Don about 20 minutes of warmup before he said to Scott, “What’s wrong?”
Well, there’s an open-ended question for you. Of all the possible responses Scott could have given — trouble with his boss, with his in-laws, with his golf swing — he decided to play it straight. “I told him that I was deeply in love with a woman who is not my wife,” says Scott.
Not exactly the answer Don was expecting. “He looked startled for a moment and then a serious look came over his face. He said, `Do you want some good advice? Take her and leave and never look back.’ “
Scott told Don it wasn’t quite that simple. He was married. She was married. Two people don’t break up their marriages just like that. Don said sometimes they should, and then he proceeded to tell Scott how five years ago he met Joan, the most wonderful woman in the world. He wanted to marry but she wouldn’t, even though they were both divorced and available.
While they were dating, they met each other’s family. Don continued to press for marriage. Joan continued to resist. They stopped seeing each other. Then Don’s brother, who was married, started to see Joan. He divorced his wife and married her.
“Can you imagine spending every holiday, Christmas, Easter, New Year’s Eve, sitting across the table from the love of your life and knowing she will never be yours?” asks Don. “I made the biggest mistake of my life. I should have moved and never looked back. When you’re 2,000 miles away, the chances of bumping into someone at the supermarket are remote. You will never do yourself, your wife or this woman any good. I still wake up at night, startled, knowing in my heart I will never have her for my own. It is devastating. Don’t do what I did. If you can’t have her, leave. Don’t torture yourself.”
Scott is considering Don’s advice. “Life doesn’t turn to like we plan,” he says.
– When they name a TV show “Men Behaving Badly,” you know something’s up. And women are feeling dumped on. Well, Brett would like women to know if men are behaving badly, it’s only because they’re being encouraged to do so.
“Why do women become involved with bad boys in the first place? They seem more willing to compromise on character issues than physical appearance or perceived lifestyle where men are concerned.
“This is not to say that men don’t get sucked into bad relationships with bad girls. We do. However, most of us initiate damage control when we detect lies or inconsistencies and get out. Women invent excuses for their jerks.
“Bad boys know that women hear what they want and disregard anything that doesn’t conform to their romantic fantasies. There are plenty of good men around, but they don’t resemble any character in a romance novel or afternoon soap. Women who date and marry these men don’t have to write to advice columnists. They can live like adults. I’m convinced if Jimmy Stewart’s `It’s a Wonderful Life’ hero George Bailey were alive and single in the ’90s, he’d be spending his Saturday nights alone. Unless, of course, he beat Mary, deserted his children, did time for bank fraud and came out riding a Harley with an attitude. Prove me wrong.”
